My wife is giving me the silent treatment because of the eagles in Lord of the Rings.
By @danikindof · Relationships
She's a huge fan and we finally watched all the movies. My honest opinion at the end was that the whole 9-hour journey could have been a 15-minute eagle flight, and now I'm apparently an idiot who "missed the point".
The full story
My wife has been trying to get me to watch the Lord of the Rings movies with her since we started dating. She loves them. Has the books, can quote the lines, the whole nine yards. I'm not a big fantasy guy, I'm more of a "watch the game and fall asleep on the couch" guy, but I love my wife, so I finally agreed to a full weekend marathon. I'll be honest, it was a lot. A lot of walking. A lot of whispering in pointy ears. I kept my mouth shut for the most part, trying to be a good sport. But then we get to the end of the third movie. The volcano is exploding, the little guys are stranded, and then they're saved by these giant eagles who just show up out of nowhere. And I'm sitting there, thinking for a second, and I finally turn to my wife and say, "Okay, I have one question. Why didn't they just do that in the first place?" You would have thought I'd just insulted her mother. Her face just fell. She goes, "What are you talking about?" I said, "The eagles! You have giant, talking eagles that can fly you anywhere. The whole problem was getting one little ring from point A to point B. Why did those two little guys have to walk for three movies when they could have just called an eagle in the first place and been done in an afternoon?" She launched into this whole explanation about how the eagles are a proud race and don't take orders, and Sauron's eye would have seen them, and it's about the journey and the struggle and the corruption of power. I'm just looking at her. I'm a contractor. If I have to get a load of lumber to a job site, I put it on a truck. I don't give it to two of my smallest guys and tell them to carry it on foot across the country and hope for the best. You're telling me for the fate of the entire world, nobody could have negotiated with the birds? Offer them a pile of whatever it is eagles eat? A prime fishing spot for life? It went from a movie debate to a real argument. they said I was being deliberately dense and cynical and was ruining a beautiful story for her. I said I was just applying basic logic. Now it's been a day, and she's still sending me articles from the internet explaining why "the eagle theory is wrong" with this look on her face. I get it's a movie, but am I not allowed to question the bird logistics? This whole thing is ridiculous, but I'm sticking to my guns.
How people voted
- Valid Take — 28% (25 votes)
- I’m Torn — 36% (32 votes)
- Bad Take — 36% (32 votes)
Readers are split: “I’m Torn” leads with 36% — 89 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@eli — You watched all nine hours with her, you're a good sport. A man is allowed to ask a question! She'll get over it.
@jaredhm — Dude. You fumbled.
@violetee — This happened to me after I took my gf to see a historical movie and I spent the car ride home pointing out all the inaccuracies. I slept on the couch that night.
@ivyish — Didn't Gandalf literally say Sauron would see the eagles coming from a mile away?
@finnhm — Congrats on stumbling into the single most-debated nerd argument of the last 20 years.
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