I accidentally found my boyfriend's extremely detailed spreadsheet ranking me and all his ex-girlfriends.
By @edie · Relationships
He wasn't home and I needed to print something from his laptop. I saw a file on his desktop named 'Metrics' and my curiosity got the best of me. It's a full-blown data analysis of every girl he's ever dated.
The full story
I know I shouldn't have snooped, but I genuinely needed to use his laptop to print concert tickets. He was at the gym, his computer was open, and I just needed to access his printer. But right there on the desktop was a file called 'Metrics.xlsx'. I thought maybe it was for work, but I was curious so I clicked on it. It was a spreadsheet. A very, very detailed spreadsheet. The columns were labeled with the names of his ex-girlfriends, and then my name. The rows were all different categories, rated on a scale of 1-10. Things like 'cooking ability,' 'sense of humor,' 'fashion sense,' 'compatibility with friends,' 'career ambition,' and even a category called 'emotional stability.' I scrolled through, my heart pounding. He had written little notes in the cells for each rating. For my 'fashion sense' (a 6/10) he wrote, 'Loves sweatpants too much, but cleans up nice.' For my 'emotional stability' (a surprising 8/10), he noted, 'Generally chill but can get stressed about small things.' And then I saw it. The final row was 'Overall Score,' and he had used some formula to calculate a total for each of us. I came in second place. SECOND. He ranked his college girlfriend higher than me, mostly because she apparently had a 10/10 in 'career ambition' and was, in his words, 'more adventurous.' I feel sick. It's so clinical and weird and hurtful. Part of me wants to confront him the second he walks in the door and demand to know why I'm second best. The other part wants to pretend I never saw it and just live with this secret knowledge. I closed the file and printed my tickets, but now I can't even look at him without thinking about my 6/10 fashion sense. Am I overreacting to this? Is this just a weird guy thing, or is it as big of a red flag as it feels?
How people voted
- On their side — 44% (18 votes)
- Both sides — 32% (13 votes)
- Other side — 24% (10 votes)
Readers say “On their side” (44%) — 41 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@niaee — Time to make a new spreadsheet ranking his performance. Don't forget to 'accidentally' leave it open on his laptop.
@hadtosay — He has a major objectification issue and you're just another item on his list.
@midconversation — lmao
@remyhm — you have to update the spreadsheet with your own notes now its the only way
@umay — Snooping was wrong but what he did is so much weirder and more hurtful. Your feelings are completely valid.
Keep reading
- I made a full-blown PowerPoint presentation to prove my point in an argument with my girlfriend.
- I will never understand straight men's obsession with ranking women.
- I have a recurring calendar event to remind me to run my dishwasher.
- I lied to my boyfriend about our apartment being haunted to get out of our lease.
- I used my girlfriend's 'decorative' soap and she's acting like I broke a family heirloom.