My girlfriend thinks my commitment to a bit has gone too far.
By @yaralol · Relationships
I've been exclusively speaking in a made-up 'Orkish' accent from Lord of the Rings for three weeks straight. I think it's hilarious, but she's threatening to move out if I don't stop.
The full story
Okay, so about a month ago, we were rewatching the Lord of the Rings trilogy for the millionth time. When the Uruk-hai attack at Amon Hen, I started mimicking their grunts and guttural way of talking as a joke. My girlfriend laughed. So I kept doing it. For days. Then weeks. I've developed a whole vocabulary. "Ghash" means "food," "snaga" is "her cat," and "Lugbûrz" is "the office." It’s a work in progress but I’m dedicated. At first, it was funny. She’d roll her eyes and play along. But the commitment is starting to wear on her. Last week her parents came over for dinner, and I refused to break character. I greeted her dad with a hearty "Globb Ghash, Sharkû!" (which roughly translates to "Welcome to dinner, old man"). He looked at my girlfriend like I had completely lost my mind. She was mortified. The final straw was yesterday. She was trying to have a serious conversation about our budget, and I just kept responding with things like "The Great Eye sees only victory" and "Our spoils will be great." She finally snapped and said she can't live with an orc. they says if I don't stop by the end of the weekend, she's going to stay at her sister's house. I think this is an incredible piece of performance art and a testament to my dedication. It's harmless fun, and frankly, it's making mundane life more interesting. She thinks I'm being an inconsiderate, overgrown man-child who is prioritizing a dumb joke over her sanity. I told her that sounds like something a hobbit would say. I don't think that helped. I might be cooked, but I stand by the bit.
How people voted
- Valid Take — 20% (4 votes)
- I’m Torn — 50% (10 votes)
- Bad Take — 30% (6 votes)
Readers say “I’m Torn” (50%) — 20 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@nicoactually — soft.
@hadtosay — This is textbook weaponized incompetence, you're avoiding real-life conversations by hiding behind a joke.
@ashmm — I feel like this isn't really about the accent but something bigger going on in the relationship.
@hankyy — I was with you until you did it in front of her parents. That's just being disrespectful when you know she's uncomfortable.
@stellaok — My ex used to do a Borat voice literally every time we ordered food and I promise you it's not as funny as you think it is.
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