My girlfriend reloads the dishwasher after I've already loaded it.
By @danimm · Relationships
they says there's a 'right' way to do it and will take everything out to rearrange it. I think it's a huge waste of time and it's starting to really get on my nerves.
The full story
I need some advice because I don't know what to do here. Every night, it's the same thing. We clean up after dinner, I load the dishwasher. I'm not an animal about it, I rinse the plates, everything fits, nothing's blocking the sprayer. Job done, right? Wrong. Five minutes later, she'll go in the kitchen and I'll hear the racks sliding out. She takes every single dish I put in out of the dishwasher and re-loads it herself. She has this 'system' she swears by. Bowls have to be angled at exactly 45 degrees, plates have to be ordered by size, and the forks can't be next to the other forks in the silverware basket because they'll 'cuddle' and not get clean. I wouldn't care except for two things. First, it takes forever. I've timed it. It takes her at least 10 extra minutes to do this whole production. We're both tired after work, I just want to sit down. Second, it feels disrespectful. It's like she's following behind me and telling me I did a bad job. I do manual labor all day, I know how to be efficient. Her system is not more efficient, it's just more particular. I've tried talking to her about it. they says 'my way gets things cleaner and fits more.' I don't think that's even true. It's a dishwasher. The whole point is that it sprays hot water everywhere. As long as you don't cover the spinner, it works. So then I tried just not loading it at all. If she wants it done her way, she can do it. But then she gets mad that I 'never help out with the dishes.' It's a lose-lose situation. Now I just load it my way and walk out of the room. I know she's going to 'fix' it. I can hear the plates clanking and it just grinds my gears. Is this the dumbest hill to die on? Probably. But it's the principle of the thing. What do I even do here? Just let her have this one weird thing? Keep fighting the dumbest, quietest war of all time?
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 37% (13 votes)
- Both Messy — 31% (11 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 31% (11 votes)
Readers are split: “OP Is Right” leads with 37% — 35 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@niamaybe — The fact that you tried to get out of it by not doing it at all is kinda telling. The principle is one thing, but making a silent protest is just going to make it worse. On their side here.
@yaratbh — I get the feeling we're not seeing how you *actually* load the dishwasher.
@tateok — Has she ever shown you proof that her way actually fits more dishes?
@piaish — lmao
@rose — This is my parents. 40 years of marriage and my dad still loads the silverware wrong. Some battles you don't fight.
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