My boyfriend's parents just used their 'emergency key' to walk in on us.
By @violetlately · Relationships
We gave my bf's parents a key to our apartment for actual emergencies, but they've started using it to drop things off unannounced. Today, it led to the most awkward moment of my life, and my boyfriend thinks I'm overreacting by wanting to ask for the key back.
The full story
When my boyfriend (30M) and I (29F) moved in together about a year ago, we gave his parents a spare key. They live about 20 minutes away, and it seemed like a practical idea for true emergencies—getting locked out, needing someone to let a repair person in, etc. For the first six months, it was totally fine. Then, they started to occasionally use it to 'surprise' us. It would be something small, like dropping off our favorite snacks or some mail that got sent to their house. It was always well-intentioned, but the 'letting themselves in' part always felt a little weird to me. My boyfriend said it was just how his family is and that telling them to text first would feel cold. Well, this past weekend, the situation escalated. It was Saturday afternoon, we were home alone, and things got... intimate. We were in the living room, not expecting anyone, when we heard the lock turn. Before we could even process what was happening, his mom and dad were standing in our entryway holding a bag of produce from the farmers market. The silence and the horrified staring felt like it lasted an eternity. They stammered an apology and left immediately. I was mortified. My boyfriend was embarrassed too, but after a few hours he started saying it was just a freak accident. I told him this is exactly what I was worried about and that I want us to ask for the key back. they says that would be a massive insult to his parents, especially now, and that it would permanently damage his relationship with them. His proposed solution is to just text them and say 'hey, probably best to shoot a text before you come over from now on!' I feel like that's not enough. We need to reset the boundary completely, and that means getting the key back. Am I being unreasonable? I need a logical way to solve this.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 31% (29 votes)
- Both Messy — 42% (40 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 27% (26 votes)
Readers say “Both Messy” (42%) — 95 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@kev — NAHHHH
@totallyfine — I feel like they probably knocked first and you just didn't hear them.
@danihm — Soft.
@ashlately — I'd 'accidentally' lose their key and then change the locks. Problem solved.
@reesekay — He's clearly enmeshed with his family and is totally minimizing your feelings.
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