My boyfriend keeps trying to 'improve' my appearance and it's making me feel awful.
By @piakinda · Relationships
they says he's just trying to help me be my 'best self' but it feels like he's trying to change everything about me. Now he's mad that I won't take his advice.
The full story
My (20F) boyfriend (21M) and I have been together for a little over a year. When we first met, he was super complimentary and always telling me how beautiful he thought I was. But for the last few months, it's like he's on a mission to give me a total makeover I never asked for. It started with small things, like suggesting I try a different hairstyle or telling me a certain color "wasn't the best" on me. I didn't think much of it. Then he started sending me links to workout videos, saying stuff like "you'd look amazing if you just toned up a little." I go to the gym already and I'm comfortable with my body, so it felt really weird and kinda insulting. Last month he bought me a bunch of clothes for my birthday, but they were all in a style I never wear. Very preppy, tight-fitting stuff. I thanked him but I haven't worn any of it, and he's been making little comments about it ever since, like "oh, still haven't worn that dress I got you?" in a passive-aggressive way. The final straw was last week. I was getting ready to go out with my friends and he saw me doing my makeup. He literally came over, took the eyeliner out of my hand, and said "let me show you how to do a wing that actually lifts your eye shape." I was so stunned I didn't even know what to say. He tried to show me and I just pulled away and told him to stop. He got defensive and said he was just trying to help and that he thinks I'm a "10" but he could help me be a "12." they said I was being too sensitive and that I should be grateful he cares enough to want me to look my best. I feel like he doesn't actually like ME, he just likes the idea of a project he can mold into his perfect girlfriend. He's been cold to me ever since I got upset, and now I'm just questioning the whole relationship.
How people voted
- Valid Take — 29% (35 votes)
- I’m Torn — 42% (50 votes)
- Bad Take — 29% (35 votes)
Readers say “I’m Torn” (42%) — 120 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@ididntmeanthat — The next time he says 'let me show you,' I'd take his phone and say 'let me show you how to find a new girlfriend on tinder.'
@piaok2 — What was his reaction when you told him how this makes you feel?
@ehhokay — bruh
@jaredok — A man's job is to help his woman be her best, he's just showing he cares.
@tom — a 12 lmaoo what does that even mean
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