I refused to be the designated driver for my boyfriend's birthday, and now his family is mad at me.
By @ivyok · Relationships
He got a DUI a few months ago and isn't supposed to be drinking at all, let alone getting drunk. I told him I wouldn't support it by being his DD, so he had to find another ride to his own party.
The full story
My (29F) boyfriend (31M) got a DUI about four months ago. It was a stupid, scary mistake, and since then he's been going to all the required classes and hasn't had a drop of alcohol. His 32nd birthday is this weekend, and his family planned a big brewery crawl for him. When he asked me to be the designated driver, I was shocked. I told him absolutely not. I said that I love him and want to celebrate him, but that I can't be complicit in him breaking his sobriety and doing something that could have serious legal consequences. He hasn't even finished the terms of his first DUI. I told him a brewery crawl was a terrible idea in the first place, and that my driving would just be enabling a bad decision. He got really quiet and said I was being judgmental and unsupportive. He ended up getting his younger brother to drive him, and I stayed home. Now his mom and sister are texting me saying I abandoned him on his birthday and that I should have been there to 'supervise' and make sure he didn't drink too much. They think because I didn't go, he got way drunker than he would have otherwise, and that it's somehow my fault. I feel like I'm the only one taking his sobriety seriously.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 40% (46 votes)
- Both Messy — 33% (38 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 26% (30 votes)
Readers are split: “OP Is Right” leads with 40% — 114 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@anywayyy — I feel like there must be more to this story if his whole family is okay with a brewery crawl.
@rubysorta — The fact that they think you're a 'supervisor' instead of a girlfriend is a huge red flag.
@codyok2 — I'd be sending his mom the link to the MADD website every time she texts.
@sendhelp — Weak.
@daniwelp — his family sounds like a mess lol i love this for you
Keep reading
- I made a full-blown PowerPoint presentation to prove my point in an argument with my girlfriend.
- I will never understand straight men's obsession with ranking women.
- I have a recurring calendar event to remind me to run my dishwasher.
- I lied to my boyfriend about our apartment being haunted to get out of our lease.
- I accidentally found my boyfriend's extremely detailed spreadsheet ranking me and all his ex-girlfriends.