I found my boyfriend's list of financial dealbreakers for a wife and I don't meet them.
By @karaforsure · Relationships
He accidentally left his journal open on his desk, and I glanced at it. One page was a list of 'non-negotiables' for a future spouse, including a minimum salary and zero student debt. I have student loans.
The full story
I know I shouldn't have looked, but it was just open on his desk while I was tidying up. It wasn't a pros and cons list about me, it seemed to be an older entry, more like a general manifestation list. It had things like 'must be family-oriented,' but also very specific financial requirements: '$75k+ salary,' 'no student loan debt,' and 'positive net worth.' I make about $60k and I still have about $20k in student loans to pay off. We've been together for two years and have talked about the future, but never in these specific terms. He doesn't know I saw it. I don't know what to do now. Do I bring it up and admit I snooped? Or do I just carry this information and worry that I'm not what he actually wants?
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 26% (39 votes)
- Both Messy — 41% (61 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 33% (49 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 41% — 149 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@daniok2 — Time to make your own list titled 'non-negotiables for a husband,' put 'makes 6 figures' on it, and leave it out for him.
@lowkeyawkward — I'm just a little confused how you 'glanced' at it and managed to absorb that much specific financial data.
@wronggroupchat — Why have you been together for two years without ever discussing finances?
@daniwelp — A man's private thoughts are his own business, period.
@lostthebet — Prince Charming has logged on.
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