I accidentally found my boyfriend's secret spreadsheet ranking my friends and me.

By @maey · Relationships

He wasn't supposed to see that I saw it, and now I have to pretend I don't know he gave me a 7.8/10 for 'sense of humor'. He also has my best friend rated higher than me in looks.

The full story

i'm still processing this. my boyfriend and i were on the couch and he was working on his laptop. he got up to get a drink and left it open, and i glanced over and saw a spreadsheet. it was titled something like 'group analysis' and had my name and all my friends' names in a column. i'm not proud of it but i leaned in to get a closer look. he had different categories like 'looks', 'sense of humor', 'career ambition', 'chill factor', and 'drama potential'. he rated all of us on a scale of 1-10 in each category. he gave me an 8.5 in looks but my best friend got a 9. he also gave me a 7.8 in sense of humor which feels lowkey insulting. my overall 'score' was a 8.4, and my best friend's was an 8.9. one of my other friends got a 4 in 'drama potential' which i mean... is kinda true but still wild to see it quantified like that. i heard him coming back so i looked away and pretended to be on my phone. he sat back down and closed the laptop. he has no idea that i saw it. i feel so incredibly weird and awkward now. like how am i supposed to look at him the same way? and how am i supposed to hang out with my friends knowing this bizarre, secret ranking exists in his head (and on his laptop)? i'm spiraling a little bit. part of me wants to confront him but that would mean admitting i snooped. another part of me wants to just pretend i never saw it and try to forget. but how do you forget that your boyfriend gave you a C+ on your personality? i don't know how to act around him now. it feels like some kind of weird game or social experiment. i just feel gross.

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