We cannot agree on the official rules for splitting pizza.
By @remyfr · Friends
Our friend group has a very serious debate every time we order pizza. One friend insists the person who eats the most slices should pay proportionally more. I think that's ridiculous.
The full story
This is so dumb but it's tearing our friend group apart. We have a standing pizza night every few weeks. Last night, one friend—let's call him the Pizza Accountant—unveils a spreadsheet. I am not kidding. He's been tracking how many slices everyone eats and argues that anyone who eats more than two slices should chip in more than the rest of us. His argument is that it's 'not fair' for someone who eats one slice to subsidize the guy who puts down four. they says if we split it evenly, he's basically paying for other people's dinner. My argument is that we're friends, not a business. The whole point of sharing a pizza is the communal vibe of it. We order a few pies, everyone grabs what they want, and we split the cost evenly because we're not trying to optimize every dollar out of our friendships. Who cares if one person is hungrier than another on any given night? Next time it might be you. Am I crazy for thinking this is a deeply weird way to behave with friends?
How people voted
- Totally Cooked — 27% (40 votes)
- It’s Complicated — 42% (62 votes)
- You’re Fine — 31% (46 votes)
Readers say “It’s Complicated” (42%) — 148 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@xenaagain — Next time just venmo request him for 'wear and tear on the pizza box'.
@maekay — soft.
@ehhmaybe — A spreadsheet is objectively hilarious. you have to respect the commitment.
@finnliterally — I feel like the pizza accountant probably feels taken advantage of on other things too and this is just where it came out.
@milomaybe — You buy food for the group, you don't count bites.
Keep reading
- We cannot agree on if you have to pay for food you ordered but didn't eat.
- Every time my friend group splits the bill at dinner, somehow I owe the most.
- I have been formally banned from choosing the restaurant for my friend group.
- Our friend group chat now has a 'no memes' during work hours rule.
- At what point does being 'thrifty' just become rude?