I have been formally banned from choosing the restaurant for my friend group.
By @tatefr · Friends
I took them to a themed restaurant as a joke and now they've created a literal, physical document that I'm not allowed to sign up on the restaurant-picking sheet. They think I'm a menace to society's tastebuds.
The full story
My friend group has a rotating system for who picks where we eat. It's very official, we have a spreadsheet and everything. My turn was last weekend. For weeks, all I've been hearing is 'I want Italian,' 'No, let's do Thai,' 'Can we just get burgers?' So, naturally, I decided to choose chaos. I found this place an hour away called 'The Platterpus.' It's a platypus-themed restaurant. I wish I were kidding. The decor is all platypus, the menu items have names like 'The Bill's Burger' and 'Duck-Billed Fries,' and the waiters wear hats with little platypus bills on them. I thought it was hilarious. A perfect, sarcastic response to their weeks of indecisive whining. I didn't tell them where we were going, just that it was 'artisanal' and 'an experience.' The drive out there was full of speculation. The moment we pulled into the parking lot and they saw the giant, smiling platypus on the sign, the car went silent. You could have heard a pin drop. Then, my best friend just slowly turned to me and said, 'You have to be kidding me.' The food was... not great. Exactly what you'd expect from a platypus-themed restaurant. My one friend who's a really picky eater almost had a conniption. To 'apologize,' I bought everyone a souvenir plastic cup shaped like a platypus head. This did not help. The next day I get an email with the subject line 'Official Restaurant Picking Mandate.' They drafted a one-page contract, complete with legal-sounding jargon, stating that I am hereby 'relieved of all culinary decision-making duties' for a period of one year. I have to sign it. They're trying to be serious, but it's the funniest thing that's ever happened. Of course, I'm going to frame it, but am I really that bad?
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 27% (7 votes)
- Both Messy — 31% (8 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 42% (11 votes)
Readers say “OP Is Wrong” (42%) — 26 votes and 4 comments so far.
What people are saying
@levihere — You wasted an entire evening of their lives on a bit. You're lucky they're still your friends.
@gusagain — The fact that a platypus-themed restaurant actually exists is the real story here.
@gabeish — I'm sorry but an hour drive for a joke? Nah, I'd sign the contract too. On their side.
@kayla — LMAO
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