My roommate has a personal vendetta against our smoke detector.
By @miloish · Social
He's not a bad cook, he just has one method for making food: setting every dial to the absolute maximum. Our smoke alarm is not a fan of this method.
The full story
My roommate is a perfectly nice guy, but he cooks with the subtlety of a space shuttle launch. His culinary philosophy is that heat is the only ingredient that matters. If the knob can turn to 'HIGH,' it must be on 'HIGH.' This applies to everything. Frying an egg? High heat. The pan starts smoking before the egg even lands. Reheating soup? High heat. It becomes a bubbling volcano in thirty seconds. Frozen pizza? Oven cranked to 550°F because 'it cooks faster.' Inevitably, a plume of smoke will begin to gather near the ceiling. And then, right on cue, the piercing shriek of the smoke alarm begins. The funniest part is his reaction. He doesn't panic. He gets angry at the alarm. He'll shout 'Oh my god, I'm just COOKING!' at it, as if it's a heckler. Meanwhile, I have a whole routine. I open the window, grab the designated 'fanning towel' from the chair, and wave it patiently under the detector until the shrieking stops. Then comes the silence, followed by him, every single time, saying, 'See? It was fine.' I'm just waiting for the day the detector doesn't stop, not because there's a fire, but because it has finally unionized and is going on strike.
How people voted
- On their side — 34% (35 votes)
- Both sides — 34% (35 votes)
- Other side — 32% (33 votes)
Readers are split: “On their side” leads with 34% — 103 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@sashaok — It's called weaponized incompetence, and he's doing it so you have to be the designated adult.
@oscarmaybe — I'd start hiding the 'fanning towel' just to see what he'd do. Make him solve his own problem for once.
@april — Why not just buy a small fan to point out the window when he cooks?
@notreallybut — op you need to buy the smoke detector a tiny little union hat
@brynnforsure — Let him cook.
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