My new son-in-law tried to 'roast' me at our family barbecue and it went way too far.
By @hanksorta · Family
He's only been in the family about a year, and I think he was trying to be funny and fit in with the younger generation's humor. But the jokes at my expense just got meaner and meaner until everyone was staring at their plates.
The full story
My daughter's husband is a nice young man, truly. He's kind to her, and that's all that really matters. We had our first big family barbecue of the summer this past weekend, and he was trying so hard to be 'one of the guys' with my nephews. At some point, after a few beers, he decides he's a stand-up comedian and wants to 'roast' people. He started with my husband, some easy jokes about his grilling, totally fine. Then he turned to me. At first, it was lighthearted. A little joke about me still using Facebook, which, okay, fair enough. But then it got personal. He brought up a story my daughter must have told him in confidence about me getting lost on a family vacation years ago, and framed it like I was senile. Then he made a 'joke' about my 'infamous' green bean casserole, saying it's the reason the kids' table is now the adults' table. I just smiled, but it stung. I could feel my husband getting tense next to me. The breaking point was when he made a comment about my laugh being loud enough to scare birds away. The whole yard just went silent. My daughter looked horrified and whispered something to him, and he just shrugged like 'what? it's a roast!' I remember when I first met my husband's parents, I was so nervous I could barely speak. All I wanted was their approval. This just feels like such a different world. He came up to me later and said 'no hard feelings, right?' but I don't know. Was it just a generational humor gap, or was it deeply disrespectful? I can't look at him the same way.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 26% (20 votes)
- Both Messy — 38% (29 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 36% (27 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 38% — 76 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@kayla — my brother tried to roast our grandpa at christmas and it was so awkward we still talk about it in a hushed tone 5 years later
@ivyok2 — ah yes, the classic 'insult my new family to win them over' strategy. bold.
@seanagain — A roast is a roast, you're supposed to give it right back, not get your feelings hurt.
@reeseactually — That is not a 'humor gap,' that was just plain rude. He owes you a real apology.
@gabeyk — Did your daughter say anything to him after this?
Keep reading
- I had to ban my mother-in-law from my house while I'm on maternity leave.
- My in-laws have started just showing up at our house without calling first.
- I lied about a food allergy to get out of eating my mother-in-law's cooking.
- My boyfriend's family has a 'Championship Belt' for family game night and it's ruining my life.
- My wife wants us to pay $4,000 to fly home for my father-in-law's 65th birthday.