My friend insists on itemizing every group dinner check, and it's getting unbearable.
By @oscaryk · Friends
We go out as a group of 6-8 pretty often. One guy always holds the table hostage for 10-15 minutes to calculate everyone's exact share, down to the proportional tax and tip.
The full story
There's a group of us from college who get dinner a couple of times a month. It's always a good time until the check comes. One friend, let's call him the Auditor, refuses to ever just split the bill evenly. He takes the receipt, gets out his phone calculator, and starts interrogating everyone. "Okay, who had the spicy tuna roll? You had two beers, not one. Did you have a bite of the calamari?" He then calculates the subtotal for each person, adds the exact percentage of tax for their items, and then calculates the tip based on their individual total. It's a whole production. The servers are clearly annoyed, and the rest of us just sit there in awkward silence. Last night was the breaking point. He tried to charge another friend an extra $1.50 because she had a few of his fries. He wasn't joking. Most of us make similar salaries and usually order entrees in the same price range. We'd all rather just split the check evenly and save the time and public embarrassment. It evens out over time. He argues that he shouldn't have to subsidize people who order more drinks or expensive dishes. I see his point from a purely mathematical perspective, but it's destroying the relaxed, friendly vibe of our dinners. What's the most logical way to address this without blowing up the friendship?
How people voted
- Side A — 28% (23 votes)
- Both — 42% (35 votes)
- Side B — 30% (25 votes)
Readers say “Both” (42%) — 83 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@ahyeah — That $1.50 is going to look great in his retirement portfolio.
@quinnwelp — This reminds me of my old roommate who kept a spreadsheet tracking how many squares of toilet paper we each used.
@remywelp — next time everyone order fries and eat one of his
@sashatbh — Dude is soft.
@zanekay — You don't get rich by paying for other people's lobster.
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