My friend always gives 'maybes' instead of a real yes or no to plans.
By @jetty · Friends
I'm trying to figure out if this is just a personal quirk of hers or if it's a red flag that she doesn't respect my time. It makes it impossible to actually plan anything.
The full story
For example, I asked two weeks ago if she wanted to go to a matinee showing of a new movie this weekend. Instead of a yes or no, I got 'Ooh fun! Let's touch base closer to the date!' So I waited. I texted her on Thursday trying to 'touch base' and got no reply. I texted her yesterday morning asking if she was still feeling up for it, as I needed to buy tickets. She finally replied last night saying she was 'so swamped' and 'totally forgot' and couldn't make it. This happens every single time. As an introvert, I have to mentally prepare for social outings, and her flakiness always throws me off. I get being busy, but it feels like she keeps me as a backup option until something better comes along. Leaving it up to you all, is it time to say something or just stop inviting her to things?
How people voted
- On their side — 35% (48 votes)
- Both sides — 32% (43 votes)
- Other side — 33% (45 votes)
Readers are split: “On their side” leads with 35% — 136 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@oscaragain — I have a feeling you might be coming on a little strong with the planning.
@paigefr — Soft.
@gusmaybe — Oh honey, that's not a friend, that's an anchor. You deserve people who are excited to see you and respect your time.
@movingon — start double booking her and see what happens
@jaredhm — She sees you as her fallback plan, not a friend.
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