My date brought a personal gallon ziploc to the diner just to shake his fries.
By @judeagain · Dating
On our fourth date he pulled out an actual plastic bag, seasoned his side of diner fries at the table, and shook them up right in front of the waitstaff. He swears by the technique for even salt distribution, but watching it happen across a candlelit table was an out-of-body experience.
The full story
went on date four with a guy I really liked. we get burgers at this greasy diner spot. food comes out and he pulls a plastic gallon ziploc out of his coat, slides his entire order of fries inside, dumps two packets of salt and three packets of pepper in, zips it tight, and starts shaking it violently like shake and bake pork chops at the dinner table. booth is vibrating. people two tables over turned around. he pulls out one seasoned fry, chews thoughtfully, nods, and goes 'distribution is unmatched.' \n\ni was frozen. like do i respect the engineering or am i sitting with someone who belongs on a watchlist. he then offered me a fry from the bag like it was a bag of trail mix on a mountain hike. the craziest part is the fries actually tasted way better than mine because diner fry seasoning is notoriously top-heavy, so logically he solved a real food science problem. but socially? in public? looking across the booth while your date is aggressively rattling a ziploc bag of hot grease like maracas is terrifying. my friends in the group chat are divided between 'marry him he's efficient' and 'ghost immediately that is psychopathic behavior.' i haven't texted back yet because i'm still processing the auditory violence of that bag shaking next to a laminated menu.
How people voted
- Bad Move — 21% (21 votes)
- Needs Context — 41% (40 votes)
- Reasonable — 38% (37 votes)
Readers are split: “Needs Context” leads with 41% — 98 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@umaagain — Did he wash the bag or did he just shove a greasy ziploc back into his coat pocket?
@tesstbh — L behavior.
@finnlately — A man who carries his own plastic bags to dinner will never be trusted with a mortgage.
@hankactually — Nothing screams romance like industrial seasoning efficiency.
@ivyactually — marry him immediately and bring dipping sauce next time
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