My boyfriend sent me a Venmo for his drinks after I took him out for his birthday.
By @tessok2 · Dating
I treated my boyfriend to a nice dinner for his birthday, but he insisted on Venmoing me forty dollars to cover his drinks and steak upgrade. I told him splitting a celebration gift turned it into an awkward business transaction, but he claims he was just being polite.
The full story
I took my boyfriend out for his birthday dinner on Saturday night. I made the reservation three weeks in advance at a nicer Italian place downtown, and I specifically told him beforehand that dinner was my treat. When the bill came, it was around $140. I put my card down without hesitation. While we were waiting for the server to bring back the receipt, he looked over at the itemized receipt, pulled out his phone, and said he was going to send me $40 on Venmo to cover his steak upgrade and his two drinks so I wouldn't have to carry the whole thing. I told him not to worry about it at all, repeated that it was his birthday, and asked him to just put his phone away and let me treat him. they insisted, saying he felt weird about having someone pay for his alcohol and that he always covers his own drinks out of principle. Ten seconds later, my phone buzzed with a notification for a $40 payment with a wine emoji. It immediately soured the entire mood for me. When you offer to take someone out for a celebration, accepting the gift gracefully is part of being a good partner. Sending a partial Venmo reimbursement turns a generous romantic gesture into an awkward, transactional business interaction. He thinks I'm making a mountain out of a molehill over him just trying to be polite and courteous with my budget, but it felt like he rejected the gift entirely.
How people voted
- Totally Cooked — 27% (8 votes)
- It’s Complicated — 33% (10 votes)
- You’re Fine — 40% (12 votes)
Readers are split: “You’re Fine” leads with 40% — 30 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@weslol — My ex did this exact thing after a $200 anniversary dinner because his dad raised him to think taking money from women is shameful.
@sagekk — You planned such a sweet evening for him, don't let his awkwardness ruin how thoughtful you were.
@reesekinda — request 80 back for emotional damages
@codyfr — Did you make a passive aggressive comment when he ordered the steak upgrade?
@jaxonok — Has he always had trouble letting people do nice things for him?
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