My best friend is systematically trying to date her way through our entire friend group.
By @xenayk · Friends
She's already dated two guys from our circle, and just told me she has a crush on a third. I said she's going to blow up our group, but she claims I'm being a bitter and unsupportive friend.
The full story
Our friend group is tight. Or, it used to be. There are about eight of us who have been inseparable since college. It was the one drama-free zone in my life. Now, my best friend seems determined to turn it into her own personal season of The Bachelorette, and I'm apparently the villain for not wanting to watch. First, it was Guy #1. They dated for about six months last year. The breakup was a five-alarm fire. Crying, accusations, the works. It made hanging out so unbelievably awkward for months because everyone felt like they had to tiptoe around them. He still barely comes to group events if he knows she's going to be there. So, casualty number one. Then, about four months ago, she starts a 'thing' with Guy #2. He's the sweetest person alive and was clearly way more into it than she was. It ended two weeks ago with her telling him she 'wasn't ready for anything serious.' He's been radio silent in the group chat ever since. So now we have another friend who feels burned and is pulling away. Yesterday, she called me, all breathless and excited, to announce that she's realized she has deep, undeniable feelings for... wait for it... Guy #3. And she wanted my honest opinion on how she should approach him. I finally just lost it. I told her she's treating our friends like a buffet and causing irreparable damage. I said she's being selfish and that our friend group, my found family, is starting to feel like a graveyard of her failed talking stages. She went ballistic. Called me a 'bitter, gatekeeping weirdo' and said she 'can't help where her heart leads her.' According to her, a real best friend would be helping her find happiness, not 'relationship-blocking' her. She ended the call by saying maybe I'm just jealous. I'm not jealous, I'm just exhausted and I don't want to lose any more friends.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 34% (118 votes)
- Both Messy — 36% (127 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 30% (103 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 36% — 348 votes and 10 comments so far.
What people are saying
@xenayk — let her cook this is her bachelorette season and we are watching
@leahsorta — You're not jealous, you're just trying to protect your family. It's completely valid to not want your safe space turned into a soap opera.
@remy — The "bitter, gatekeeping weirdo" comment would make me lose my mind. I
@nia — Don't fish off the company pier, it's a simple rule for a reason.
@niayy — bruh
@kara — You're trying to protect your found family, and that's a beautiful thing. It's a shame your friend doesn't see it that way.
@chloebean — I had a roommate in college who did this with the guys on our floor. The RA had to hold a mediation by the end of the semester.
@liamsorta — Has anyone else in the group said anything to her about this?
@remywelp — We had a friend do this and now our fantasy football league is split into two separate leagues. It's been three years.
@whoops — let her cook this is way too funny
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