It's become impossible to make a simple plan and have it stick.
By @maeish · Unpopular Opinion
Back in the day, you'd make a plan on the phone and that was that. Now, with group chats, every plan is a 'living document' that can be changed or canceled at the last minute, and I'm tired of it.
The full story
I'm probably just showing my age here, but this has been driving me up the wall lately. I tried to get a few of my old friends together for a simple barbecue a few weeks back. Nothing fancy, just burgers and hot dogs in the backyard. In the old days, say 20-25 years ago, I'd have made four phone calls, we'd pick a Saturday, and that was it. The plan was set in stone. People showed up because they said they would. Now? It has to be a group chat. The "BBQ Crew 🔥" or some such nonsense. And the plan-making process is just excruciating. First, someone can't do that Saturday. Fine. Then someone else suggests a poll for the best day, which gets three votes and then two other people respond in the main chat with options that weren't in the poll. We finally settle on a Sunday two weeks out. For about six hours, the plan is solid. Then the slow trickle begins. 'Hey guys, might be a little late, have to take my kid to a thing.' 'Oh, you know what, I double-booked, can we do the weekend after?' 'I'll have to see how I feel.' What does that even mean? You're going to see how you feel about a plan you just made? We didn't have this constant state of 'maybe' growing up. You were either in or you were out. This flexibility that technology has given us has just turned into a universal excuse for being non-committal and, frankly, a bit flaky. It feels like nobody's word means anything anymore because they know they can just send a quick text to bail an hour beforehand with no real social consequence. It used to be you'd have to call someone and feel a little ashamed for backing out. Now you just fire off an emoji and that's that. We ended up just canceling the whole thing.
How people voted
- Valid Take — 32% (24 votes)
- I’m Torn — 26% (19 votes)
- Bad Take — 42% (31 votes)
Readers are split: “Bad Take” leads with 42% — 74 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@sashaok — Weak.
@savannahok — The phrase 'i'll have to see how i feel' would send me into orbit.
@quinnwelp — This is my life. I have 4 different group chats for the same 8 people.
@kirasorta — The 'BBQ Crew 🔥' name alone is a cry for help.
@willaok — Maybe the problem isn't the group chat, it's that your friends are flaky.
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