I thought hosting a fantasy football draft party at a public park was a good idea.
By @maramaybe · Sports
Now a bunch of random kids think I'm an NFL scout and won't leave my 'combine' alone. This was a terrible, terrible idea and our draft is completely off the rails.
The full story
Okay so I'm the commissioner of a pretty serious 12-team fantasy league. This year, I had the brilliant idea to do our live draft at a public park. Get some fresh air, make it an event, you know? We set up a couple of picnic tables, I brought a big whiteboard for the draft board, and we even had a portable speaker. The vision was immaculate: sunshine, trash talk, football. It started going wrong almost immediately. First, a guy with a metal detector kept walking through our area, which was weird but whatever. The real problem started about 30 minutes in. A bunch of kids, probably 10-12 years old, were playing their own little game of football nearby. They saw our setup, the big board with all the NFL logos, me yelling about 'value in the 4th round,' and they got the wrong impression. A very, very wrong impression. They came over and started peppering me with questions, thinking I was some kind of NFL scout. One of them, a little dude in a Jets jersey, literally asked me if I could get him a tryout. I tried to explain it was a fantasy league, a game, but they were not hearing it. They saw a guy with a clipboard and a whiteboard and their imaginations went wild. Now they're running 'drills' for me. They're doing 40-yard dashes across the picnic area, shouting out their 'stats' and asking me to time them. My league-mates think this is the funniest thing that has ever happened and are actively encouraging it, calling out plays and telling the kids to 'show the scout what you got.' Our draft is at a complete standstill. My first-round pick, Justin Jefferson, is being judged by a panel of pre-teens. How do I get these kids to leave so we can finish this draft without accidentally signing a fifth-grader to a 10-day contract?
How people voted
- Facts — 35% (19 votes)
- Depends — 35% (19 votes)
- No Way — 30% (16 votes)
Readers are split: “Facts” leads with 35% — 54 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@sashayy — dude you have to draft one of the kids. for the content.
@quinnok — This is hilarious, but yeah, you're definitely cooked. Maybe just offer to buy them all ice cream if they'll let you finish your draft in peace?
@maefr — you accidentally created the most high-stakes scouting combine of all time. don't mess it up.
@quinnwelp — I refuse to believe you didn't lean into the scout role just a little bit at the start.
@daniok2 — This is the best thing I've read all week.
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