I think my two neighbors are in a passive-aggressive war and I'm their only audience.
By @tessfr · Social
It started small a few months ago, but now it's escalated to synchronized lawn mowing and strategic sprinkler placement. I'm just trying to drink my coffee in peace, but instead, I'm watching a suburban cold war unfold.
The full story
I live in a quiet little cul-de-sac where not much happens. My house is right between two others, owned by men who are both in their 50s and seem to have a lot of pride in their landscaping. It started in the spring. Neighbor A (on my left) got a new riding mower. The next weekend, Neighbor B (on my right) got the exact same model, only it was the next-tier-up with a bigger engine. You could hear the difference. A few weeks later, Neighbor A started edging his driveway and walkways twice a week. It looked incredibly neat. So, Neighbor B started edging his lawn, but he also bought one of those attachments that creates a perfect little trench along the concrete. It looks like a mini-Grand Canyon. Then came the fertilizers. One would put down fertilizer, and the other would follow suit the next day with a different, supposedly superior, brand. The real escalation started last month. Neighbor A installed a new sprinkler system. The first time he ran it, one of the heads sprayed a little bit onto Neighbor B's driveway. An accident, I assumed. The next morning, Neighbor B was out at dawn, adjusting his own sprinklers. Now, one of his heads sprays a perfect, consistent arc just over the property line, directly onto Neighbor A's prize-winning rose bushes. He only runs that one sprinkler. This morning was the peak so far. Neighbor A started mowing his lawn at exactly 8:00 AM. I watched Neighbor B, who was sitting in his garage with the door open, wait until Neighbor A was completely finished, had put his mower away, and had gone inside. Then, Neighbor B started his mower and re-mowed his own lawn, which was already perfect, but he set his mower deck one level lower. The whole thing feels so tense and childish, but I also can't stop watching.
How people voted
- Bad Move — 33% (26 votes)
- Needs Context — 35% (28 votes)
- Reasonable — 33% (26 votes)
Readers are split: “Needs Context” leads with 35% — 80 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@ameliaa — you need to set up a live stream with a scoreboard
@ashagain — Oh honey, you
@maybeitsme — This is what happens when men have literally no other outlet for their egos.
@derekkk — You should hire a landscaping crew to do your own lawn and make it look ten times better than both of theirs combined.
@mae — lmaooo
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