I think my boyfriend is 'practicing' breaking up with me and it's freaking me out.
By @remyforsure · Relationships
Twice in the last month we've had a small argument and he's escalated it to the point of saying things like 'well maybe we should just live separately then!' or 'I guess this isn't working!'. Then an hour later he apologizes and says he didn't mean it.
The full story
My bf (32M) and I (30F) have been together for about three years, living together for two. Overall it's good. But recently this new pattern has started and it's really unsettling. We'll have a minor disagreement—the kind of thing that should be a 10-minute conversation. Last night it was about him not telling me his parents were stopping by until they were 20 minutes away. Instead of just saying 'my bad,' he got defensive. I was annoyed and said I needed more of a heads up. The argument grew, and he suddenly says, 'You know, if you hate how I live so much, maybe we shouldn't be living together!' It completely floors me. He gets this cold look and starts talking about logistics, as if it's real. Then, just as I'm starting to panic and my heart is pounding, he'll back down. He'll get quiet for a bit, then come apologize, say he gets scared and says stupid stuff, and that he'd never want to actually break up. He calls it 'going nuclear' and says it's just a bad habit from past relationships. But to me it feels like he's either testing my reaction, or he's practicing for the real thing so it feels less scary to him. It's emotional whiplash. I'm starting to feel like I can't bring up any issues without risking him simulating a breakup. It's making me anxious and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
How people voted
- Valid Take — 31% (10 votes)
- I’m Torn — 38% (12 votes)
- Bad Take — 31% (10 votes)
Readers are split: “I’m Torn” leads with 38% — 32 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@derekkk — My ex did this. He finally did it for real the day our lease was up for renewal lol.
@holly — I feel like maybe the arguments aren't as 'small' as you're making them out to be.
@kiraforsure — He's using threats to control the argument and shut you down.
@piaok — What were his past relationships like that this is a 'habit'?
@alyssamaybe — nahhh
Keep reading
- My boyfriend says if I didn't pay for the food, I don't get a say in who eats it.
- My wife spent $800 from our emergency fund on Taylor Swift tickets.
- Calling your girlfriend's cooking 'mid' isn't constructive criticism, it's just rude.
- I thought getting my boyfriend a GPS tracker for his cat was a good idea.
- I have to get my girlfriend's approval on my fantasy football team name.