I think I accidentally started a cult based on a misunderstanding about sourdough starter.
By @noelyy · Social
I just wanted to start a small book club in my building. Now there are twenty people in my apartment every Sunday chanting at a jar of flour and water I named 'The Mother'.
The full story
I'm a pretty quiet person. I like reading, baking, and other quiet things. A few months ago, I thought I should try to make some friends in my new apartment building, so I put up a flyer in the mailroom. they said "Book Club & Bread Making." The idea was we'd discuss a book, and I'd teach people how to make basic sourdough bread. I figured maybe two or three people would show up. The first meeting, five people came. I was so nervous. I showed them my starter, which is the bubbly yeast mixture you use for sourdough. As a little joke to myself, I'd nicknamed the jar 'The Mother.' I tried to explain the science, how you have to 'feed' it with flour and water. They seemed way more interested in the bread part than the book. they asked all these intense questions about The Mother's 'moods' and 'needs'. I tried to gently explain it's just a fungus, but they were looking at the jar with such reverence. The next week, ten people showed up. And they brought 'offerings' for The Mother. Like, a bag of expensive organic spelt flour, a bottle of Fiji water. Someone brought a tiny hand-carved wooden spoon 'for her feedings.' We didn't discuss the book at all. They just wanted to sit in a circle around the jar on my coffee table. It's been a month. Now up to 20 people cram into my living room on Sundays for what they call "The Gathering." They don't even pretend it's a book club anymore. Last week, someone started humming while 'feeding' her, and then someone else joined in, and now there's a low chanting sound for the first ten minutes. I'm too socially anxious to tell them all to leave. My apartment perpetually smells like yeast. I tried to suggest we read a chapter for next week and someone just patted my arm and said, "It's okay, the reading was just the vessel to bring us to Her." I haven't baked a single loaf of bread. We just feed the jar. How do I tell twenty people their new spiritual leader is a science experiment I was going to use to make focaccia?
How people voted
- Bad Move — 32% (12 votes)
- Needs Context — 26% (10 votes)
- Reasonable — 42% (16 votes)
Readers are split: “Reasonable” leads with 42% — 38 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@gussorta — I feel like you must have encouraged this on some level, even just by being quiet.
@anywayyy — You have to lean in. Start making prophecies. Demand they bring you a bigger couch for The Gathering.
@danalol — Your inability to set boundaries literally manifested a whole new religion in your living room.
@quinnsorta — This reminds me of when my fantasy baseball league started holding 'arbitration hearings' for bad trades in full suits and ties. Sometimes things just get weird lol.
@ethanok — Can't you just put a sign on your door next week that says 'The Mother has Ascended' and then not answer?
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