I made a Tinder profile as a joke and now I have a date with a guy who's really into it.
By @maralol · Dating
The profile is from the POV of an orc from Lord of the Rings. I thought the ridiculousness was obvious but this dude is asking me if I prefer Mordor or Isengard for a first date.
The full story
ok so my roommates and i were bored last week and we were rewatching lord of the rings and i had the brilliant/stupid idea to make a joke tinder. the whole profile is written as if i'm an orcákh looking for "a nice slice of man-flesh to share." my bio says "loves long walks on the plains of Gorgoroth, sharpening my scimitar, and hating sunlight. not looking for an elf. swipe left if you serve the white wizard." i put my location as mount doom. i used pictures of like, foggy mountains and blurry pics of me in a weird green hoodie. i thought it was so obviously a joke. well. i got a match. and he messaged me. i thought he was just playing along at first, you know? he was like "i've always been drawn to the strength and determination of the Uruk-hai." and i was like lol ok. so i'm replying in character, saying stuff like "the Eye is ever watchful" and "meat's back on the menu, boys!" just super dumb stuff. but he is... so serious. he started talking about how mainstream society misunderstands orc culture and that he respects my "authenticity." he genuinely thinks i am a girl who is super into larping as an orc 24/7. and he seems kinda... normal otherwise? like his profile is just a regular dude. he's cute even. anyway he asked me out. for this weekend. and i said yes. i don't know why i said yes. my roommates are losing their minds and are demanding i go through with it and wear the green hoodie. part of me wants to just ghost him and delete the account but the other part is so incredibly curious. what do i even do here? do i show up as myself and explain the joke? or do i lean in and show up speaking black speech? i am in too deep.
How people voted
- Totally Cooked — 29% (16 votes)
- It’s Complicated — 42% (23 votes)
- You’re Fine — 29% (16 votes)
Readers say “It’s Complicated” (42%) — 55 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@ediey — you have to go in the green hoodie
@owenliterally — I feel like you're not mentioning how much you're actually attracted to this guy.
@reeseish — crying
@kindathough — You're getting validation from a persona, not your authentic self.
@mike — This is what happens when you try to find a relationship on the internet.
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