I just don't think I'll ever understand this 'ghosting' thing.
By @paigekay · Dating
My granddaughter is telling me it's totally normal to just stop talking to someone you've been on several dates with. To me, it seems like the cruelest way to end things with a person.
The full story
I was talking with my granddaughter (she's 24) about her dating life, and she was telling me about a young man she'd been on four or five dates with. they said they had a nice time, and then he just completely vanished. No more texts, didn't answer her call, nothing. She was a little bummed, but she shrugged and said 'he ghosted me, it happens all the time.' And that's the part that gets me. It happens all the time? Back in my day, we didn't have all these ways to be in constant contact, but we somehow managed to be more direct. If someone wasn't interested, you knew it. You either got the awkward phone call, or they'd tell you to your face, or in the worst case you'd get a 'Dear John' letter. It was never fun, of course, but at least you had closure. You weren't left staring at a silent phone for weeks wondering if you did something wrong or if they'd fallen into a ditch. You knew where you stood and you could move on. She tells me I'm being old-fashioned and that a text message breaking things off can feel just as awkward or even lead to a fight, so it's easier to just disappear. But easier for who? It seems so incredibly self-centered to prioritize your own comfort over another person's feelings. You're leaving them in a state of limbo just so you can avoid a two-minute uncomfortable conversation. It feels like basic human decency has gone out the window. Maybe I am just old, but I can't see how treating another human being as that disposable is ever okay.
How people voted
- Totally Cooked — 29% (6 votes)
- It’s Complicated — 43% (9 votes)
- You’re Fine — 29% (6 votes)
Readers say “It’s Complicated” (43%) — 21 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@willsorta — The only correct response is to wait 3 months and then reply to one of his IG stories with 'lol'.
@brynnhm — a letter 😭
@violetfr — Has nobody here ever been scared to reject someone because they might react badly? Sometimes ghosting is just safer.
@vinceactually — It's a total lack of empathy and emotional maturity. You're right to be weirded out by it.
@tateee — I wonder if she was just trying to put on a brave face for you.
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