I have to send my husband's lunch with him because my sister-in-law 'forgets' to feed him.
By @willaish · Family
My SIL watches our son and my nephew a few days a week while I'm at work. My husband drops our son off, stays for a bit to work from her house, and she makes lunch for herself and the kids but never for him. He feels awkward making his own food there so he just doesn't eat until he gets home.
The full story
This feels like the pettiest thing to ever get annoyed about, but it's driving me crazy. My husband and I both work, and a few days a week my sister-in-law (his sister) watches our son (4) and her own son (5) at her house so we don't have to pay for full-time daycare. I'm super grateful for this, truly. The issue is my husband's work-from-home schedule is flexible, so he usually drops our son off in the morning and will stay at her house to work for a few hours to avoid the morning commute and see the kids. Around noon, my SIL makes lunch for herself and both the boys. But she never makes anything for my husband. Not even like, 'hey, I'm making grilled cheese, do you want one?' She just makes food for three people and he's left sitting at her kitchen table working while they eat. they says it feels super awkward to get up and start rummaging through her fridge to make his own lunch when she's cooking, so he just... doesn't. He waits until he comes home around 3pm and is absolutely starving and cranky. I finally told him this is ridiculous and he needs to just say 'Hey, that smells good, can you make me one too?' He says it feels rude and like he's imposing, even though she's his sister. His solution was for ME to start packing him a lunch, like he's in elementary school. So now, on top of packing a lunch and snacks for our son, I'm also packing a separate lunch for my 35-year-old husband to take to his own sister's house. It feels passive-aggressive and weird, and honestly, it's just one more thing on my plate in the morning. I feel like she's being a weird gatekeeper about food in her own home, and he's being a wimp for not just speaking up. But maybe I'm the one overthinking it and should just pack the dang lunch.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 37% (22 votes)
- Both Messy — 44% (26 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 19% (11 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 44% — 59 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@oscarmaybe — I'd pack him a super elaborate, 5-course meal and make him unpack it in front of her. Petty? Yes. Satisfying? Also yes.
@ohnoitsme — This is weaponized incompetence on his part and passive aggression on hers, and you're caught in the middle.
@jakobok — Just pack the lunch, this is not a real problem.
@sortaright — Your husband is a grown man who can't ask his own sister for a sandwich? And she's weird for not offering. You're the only sane person here.
@notreallybut — Soft.
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