I created a 37-page slide deck to prove my wife is wrong about which food is a sandwich.
By @maehm · Food
We have a long-running, completely pointless argument in our house over sandwich taxonomy. To settle it, I made a ridiculously detailed presentation, but now she thinks I've taken it too far and is refusing to even look at it.
The full story
My wife and I have a recurring debate: is a hot dog a sandwich? For the record, I say no. A sandwich requires two separate pieces of bread. A hot dog bun is a single, hinged piece. they says I'm being ridiculous, and that anything between bread is a sandwich. This argument comes up every few months. It's totally harmless, just something we disagree on. Well, last week it came up again at a friend's BBQ. This time, I decided I was going to settle it with data and logic. I work as a project manager, so my natural instinct when faced with a problem is to structure it. I spent about ten hours over the last week putting together a PowerPoint presentation titled 'The Sandwich Paradox: An Analysis of Hinge-Based Bread Theory.' I defined key terms. I included diagrams showing cross-sections of various food items (subs, gyros, tacos, and of course, hot dogs). I referenced the USDA's official definition (which, by the way, is ambiguous). I even created a 'sandwich alignment chart' mapping foods on a purist-to-rebel axis. There's a section on historical precedent and another on the 'sociological implications of the open-faced sandwich.' The final slide is a call to action: 'Reclassify the Hot Dog: A Proposal for Culinary Consistency.' I thought it was hilarious. A perfect, over-the-top way to resolve a dumb argument. I presented it to her last night after dinner. I had my laptop hooked up to the TV. She watched my intro slide, saw the title, and just stared at me. they said I was being 'insane' and that I had 'pathologized a fun little quirk.' She refused to watch the rest and now she's giving me the silent treatment. I feel like my methodical approach was the right way to solve the problem, but maybe the problem didn't need solving. Did I go too far?
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 32% (27 votes)
- Both Messy — 37% (31 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 31% (26 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 37% — 84 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@maddy — nahhhh
@benmaybe — If you just put a single slice of lunch meat on a piece of bread and folded it, would that not be a sandwich?
@gusok2 — Is it possible the 'silent treatment' is about more than just the presentation?
@nicokk — My bf did this to me but with the lyrics to a song we were arguing about. I am on your wife's side, leave the fun little arguments alone lmao.
@weslol — The effort you put into this is honestly very sweet, even if it's a little much. I hope she comes around and sees the humor in it!
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