I am the self-appointed commissioner of my friend group's playlist and it's a thankless job.
By @ediewelp · Music
We have a collaborative Spotify playlist for parties and pregames. I had to step in and set some ground rules because people were adding objectively terrible songs, and now everyone is calling me a tyrant.
The full story
Every friend group has one, the sacred collaborative playlist. Ours is called 'The Bullpen'. For years, it was chaos. Anarchy. People adding 8-minute sad indie songs, weird meme sounds, stuff that just kills the vibe immediately. It was like watching a coach put a kicker in to play quarterback. So, I stepped in. I'm a fantasy football commissioner, so I know how to manage a league and keep things fair but competitive. I established a constitution. Rule #1: Any song addition must be able to survive three consecutive parties without being skipped. If it gets skipped, it's relegated to the practice squad (a different playlist). Rule #2: Each person gets two 'Franchise Tag' songs per year – songs that can't be vetoed, use them wisely. Rule #3: The 'Tempo Clause'. No more than two consecutive songs under 100bpm. We are here to party, not contemplate our life choices. Finally, Rule #4, and this is the most important: Commissioner's Veto. As the one who actually pays for the premium account and cares about the integrity of the aux, I retain final say. This worked beautifully for months. The playlist was an all-star roster of bangers. Then last weekend, my buddy's new girlfriend added a sped-up TikTok version of a song from the 80s. Not only is the original a certified classic that was already on the playlist, but the new version sounded like it was being sung by chipmunks on a roller coaster. It was a clear violation of taste and precedent. I vetoed it immediately. Now the group chat is in shambles. I'm a 'dictator'. I'm 'gatekeeping the music'. I'm 'taking it too seriously'. My buddy says I embarrassed his girlfriend. I say I'm protecting the sanctity of the playlist! You wouldn't let a casual fan make trades for your favorite team, why would you let a casual listener dictate the emotional flow of a party? A great playlist is about building momentum. It's a science. I'm just enforcing the rules for the good of the league. Am I wrong for having standards?
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