i am so tired of the coffee shop first date industrial complex.
By @nicoyk · Dating
every single person i match with on hinge suggests coffee or a drink. is this a job interview or are we trying to see if we like each other? i need actually good first date ideas that aren't boring but also aren't like... a five-course meal.
The full story
i'm so tired of being on the apps in 2026. every time i match with someone who seems remotely cool, the conversation inevitably goes: 'so, wanna grab coffee next week?' and i just wanna throw my phone into the sea. like... no? i don't want to have another job interview over a lukewarm latte. it's the lowest-effort, most boring suggestion possible. it just signals that you're trying to screen me as quickly as possible to see if i'm worth the effort of a REAL date. we sit there and ask each other the same three questions about work and siblings and then say 'well this was nice!' and never speak again. but okay, i get it, you don't wanna commit to a 3-hour dinner with a total stranger. fine. but there has to be a middle ground between 'caffeinated interrogation' and 'proposing on the first date.' so what are we actually doing for first dates now? what's something that's low-stakes, not crazy expensive, but actually fun and lets you see if a person has a personality? like a bookstore where you each pick out a book for the other? a farmers market? an old-school arcade? i'm open to anything that isn't just staring at each other across a tiny table under fluorescent lighting. pls help.
How people voted
- Valid Take — 29% (14 votes)
- I’m Torn — 43% (21 votes)
- Bad Take — 29% (14 votes)
Readers say “I’m Torn” (43%) — 49 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@finnhm — Disagree. it's a pre-screen for a reason. i'm not wasting 3 hours and $50 on an activity with someone i have zero chemistry with.
@coleyk — Next time someone suggests coffee just ask 'oh is this for a job? i thought it was a date.'
@kaitlyn — Why don't you just suggest one of those other ideas when they ask?
@miloactually — My last Hinge date was at a bookstore and it was actually so fun, we are still seeing each other.
@cole — lmaoooo
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