A harmless prank involving a 5-foot garden gnome has escalated into a complex logistical nightmare.
By @willakindof · Friends
My friends and I bought a "communal" garden gnome to hide on each other's porches. Now everyone hates it and we've drafted a multi-page "Gnome Accords" document to govern it, which is failing miserably.
The full story
A few months ago, my three closest friends and I (all in our mid-30s) thought it would be hilarious to buy a ridiculously large garden gnome from an online marketplace. It's about five feet tall, made of cheap resin, and is painted in colors so garish they're almost aggressive. We named him Barnaby. The original plan was simple: Barnaby would live on one person's porch or in their yard for a week, and then that person would be responsible for secretly moving him to the next person's property. A simple, harmless running gag. The problem is, the novelty wore off almost immediately. Having a giant, creepy gnome staring into your living room window is funny for about 24 hours. After that, it’s just unsettling. My wife despises him. One friend's dog has a nervous breakdown whenever it sees him. The friend who lives in a townhouse complex with a strict HOA got a formal warning letter. Instead of abandoning the bit, we decided to formalize the rules. I am, admittedly, a bit detail-oriented, so I drafted a document we all jokingly called "The Barnaby Accords." It was meant to be a funny way to manage the joke, but people started treating it like a legal text. The Accords covered: 1. Rotation Schedule: A fixed weekly rotation (Person A -> B -> C -> D). 2. Transfer Protocol: The current "Gnome-handler" must move Barnaby between 1 AM and 4 AM to maintain the element of surprise. Photographic evidence of successful placement is required. 3. Hardship Clause: A person can file for a "hardship exemption" for one week if they have house guests, are traveling, or receive a formal complaint (e.g., from an HOA). This requires 48-hour notice to the group. This is where it's all breaking down. Friend A is trying to invoke the hardship clause because his in-laws are visiting. Friend B is arguing that since they're staying in the guest room on the other side of the house, they won't even see the gnome, so the exemption is invalid. Friend C just went rogue entirely. He was next in the rotation, but instead of moving Barnaby to my house, he drove him to my office parking lot and left him in my reserved spot with a sign that said "ON STRIKE." This is a clear violation of our agreed-upon terms, which state placement must be at a residential property. So now I have a 5-foot gnome at my workplace. I can't get him in my sedan. My options are: a) admit defeat and pay to have him hauled to a dump, which feels like letting them win, b) rent a truck to orchestrate a late-night counter-move, or c) try to amend the Accords to include penalties for rogue actions, but nobody is speaking in the group chat. I'm trying to solve this logically but the entire situation's foundation is absurd.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 34% (133 votes)
- Both Messy — 39% (154 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 27% (106 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 39% — 393 votes and 10 comments so far.
What people are saying
@ellieok — Can't you all just agree to take it to the dump?
@willakindof — If a joke needs a multi-page document to explain it, it was never funny in the first place.
@xenafr — A prank isn't a prank if it has a multi-page rulebook.
@paigeish — Leaving him at your office was a clear violation of the Geneva Conventions, let alone the Barnaby Accords. On their side.
@edieyy — I feel like creating a multi-page document for a joke might be the real problem here.
@maraish — This reminds me of my fantasy football league where the loser had to get a terrible haircut chosen by the winner lol
@violetee — You're all suffering from escalation of commitment to a bit that died months ago.
@owenok — My college roommates and I did something similar with a cursed stuffed badger. It ended with it being mailed to my brother in another state.
@elliekk — Soft.
@lostthebet — You rent a van, buy that gnome a tiny suit, and handcuff it to the front door of Friend C's house. Time to play hardball.
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