A dumb joke in my friend group has now resulted in me carrying a rubber chicken everywhere I go.
By @willamm · Friends
We have a punishment system for being the last one to reply to a plan in the group chat, and the punishment is you have to carry this specific, gross rubber chicken. As the reigning champion of forgetfulness, it's been my constant companion for two weeks.
The full story
It all started as a joke, obviously. Someone found this ugly rubber chicken at a party store and declared it 'The Scepter of Shame.' The rule was simple: if we're making plans and you're the last person to reply, you get saddled with the chicken until the next time we all hang out. Forget to bring it? You buy a round. Drop it? You buy a round. It's horrible and I love it. Well, my phone died on the way back from a work trip, and by the time I landed and could respond to the 'Brunch this weekend?' text, I was seven hours late. My fate was sealed. For two weeks, this chicken has been my plus-one. I've taken it to the grocery store, to the gym, and, yes, even on a date. I just put it on the table and said 'don't ask.' There was not a second date. My boss asked me what it was when it fell out of my bag during a meeting. I just stared at him and said 'it's for morale.' He just nodded slowly and moved on. The worst part is my friends are showing no signs of making new plans. I think they're enjoying this too much. I'm stuck in chicken purgatory.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 26% (22 votes)
- Both Messy — 44% (37 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 31% (26 votes)
Readers say “Both Messy” (44%) — 85 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@hollykinda — Something tells me you're enjoying this a little more than you're letting on.
@codywelp — This whole friend group clearly has a humiliation fetish.
@ashlately — The 'it's for morale' line in a meeting is an all-timer, you're handling this hilariously.
@colelol — My fantasy league loser has to spend 24 hours in a Waffle House, one hour for every loss. Could be worse.
@colehm — A real friend would just call you, not subject you to this nonsense.
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