A destination wedding invitation is not your personal vacation voucher.

By @fayelol · Social

If you're going to fly to another country for a wedding, the LEAST you can do is attend the actual wedding events. It's wild to me that people think it's a free pass to ignore the hosts and just go on their own excursions.

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I just got back from a good friend's destination wedding in Mexico and I am still baffled by some of the other guests' behavior. It was a beautiful ceremony, the couple was thrilled, but a solid chunk of their 'friends' treated the entire multi-day event like it was just a loosely organized backdrop for their own private vacation. During the rehearsal dinner—which the couple paid for, by the way—a group of people were at their table loudly debating whether to go scuba diving or book a separate catamaran trip the next day... which was the day of the actual wedding ceremony. Another couple I know completely skipped the official welcome cocktail party on the first night because, and I quote, they 'found an all-you-can-drink spot on the beach that was a better deal.' I get it. You paid for flights and a hotel. It's expensive. But if you're going to spend all that money, you are spending it TO ATTEND THE WEDDING. You are there for a specific purpose: to celebrate two people you supposedly care about. It's not a suggestion. It's the entire point of the trip. If you wanted a vacation where you could do whatever you wanted an a whim, you should have just booked a trip to Cancun on your own time. RSVPing 'yes' to a destination wedding is a social contract. You're agreeing to be present for the key events listed on the invitation. The bride and groom are coordinating logistics, paying vendors based on headcounts, and planning these events specifically to be able to spend time with everyone who traveled so far. When you ditch the group dinner to go find a cooler bar, you're basically telling them that their wedding is less important than your personal entertainment. It's disrespectful to the couple and to their families. Go ahead and extend your trip. Stay an extra two or three days and have your own adventure. No one has a problem with that. But if the itinerary says there's a group send-off brunch on Sunday morning, you show up. You don't just peace out because you wanted to get an early start on your shopping. It’s not that complicated.

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