We've been secretly replacing our roommate's oat milk with regular milk for two months.
By @karatbh · Petty or Nah
He's one of those 'dairy is poison' guys but he's also not even lactose intolerant. We decided to run a little experiment to see if he'd notice, and he hasn't said a single word.
The full story
I know this sounds bad but hear me out. My roommate (25M) is a good dude, but he's insufferable about food. He's not allergic or intolerant to anything, he just gets obsessed with whatever wellness trend is on TikTok. His latest thing is that dairy is 'toxic inflammation' and that oat milk is morally and biologically superior in every way. He gives us a lecture every time we have cereal or put creamer in our coffee. It got old. So my other roommate and I came up with a plan. We bought a carton of his expensive oat milk ($7 a carton!!!) and when it was empty, we started refilling it with regular organic whole milk from the store. We've been doing this for two months now. He hasn't noticed. At all. He still makes his smoothies, drinks his lattes, and tells us how much 'cleaner' he feels since cutting out dairy. He even said his skin has been clearer and he has more energy, all while chugging 2% milk every morning. We have to leave the room to keep from laughing. The prank was only supposed to last a week, but it's gotten too funny to stop. Part of me feels like we're just waiting for the inevitable moment he catches us. I think we're going to have to stage a big reveal. The other part of me thinks we should just let this ride for a whole year and see what happens. I don't think we're bad people, I think we're conducting a valuable scientific study on the placebo effect. At this point, telling him feels like it would be meaner than NOT telling him. He's so happy with his 'dairy-free' life.
How people voted
- Totally Cooked — 24% (14 votes)
- It’s Complicated — 41% (24 votes)
- You’re Fine — 34% (20 votes)
Readers are split: “It’s Complicated” leads with 41% — 58 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@hankyy — Why not just ask him to stop lecturing you about food?
@jaredmm — The only way this ends is with you guys filming his reaction when you pour the milk into the oat milk carton in front of him.
@forrealsies — My sister tried to tell my dad his beloved 'craft beer' was just Miller Lite in a fancy bottle and he almost wrote her out of the will lol.
@thatguymike — It's the weaponized placebo effect for me.
@jettkk — Are we sure he doesn't know and he's just playing along to mess with you guys?
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