We cannot agree on whether it's okay to get my dad a 'group gift' for his birthday.

By @colelol · Family

My siblings and I want to get my dad a really nice, expensive grill he's been wanting for ages, but my husband thinks it's tacky and impersonal for us to all pitch in on one big present. they says we should each get him something smaller and more personal.

The full story

My dad's 70th birthday is coming up, and he's been dropping hints for months (years, honestly) about a specific, top-of-the-line BBQ grill. The thing is, it's about $1,200. My two siblings and I decided that instead of getting him a bunch of smaller stuff he doesn't need (more sweaters, more coffee mugs), we could pool our money and get him the one thing he actually wants. We were all on board and pretty excited about it. Then I mentioned it to my husband. He immediately made a face. He thinks that group gifts, especially from your own kids, are incredibly impersonal and a bit of a cop-out. In his family, they always give individual, thoughtful gifts, no matter the cost. He argues that a big, expensive item feels like we're just throwing money at the problem instead of putting in real effort. they says my dad would rather have three smaller, sentimental presents than one big one we just split the cost on. Now I'm completely torn. On one hand, I see his point about the personal touch. But on the other hand, my dad has literally said, out loud, that he wants this grill. My siblings think my husband is being ridiculous and that he doesn't get to have a vote on a gift from us to our dad. The whole thing has devolved into this weirdly tense debate about gift-giving philosophy, and now I feel like whatever we do, someone's going to be annoyed. Am I supposed to tell my siblings the group gift is off? Or tell my husband he’s overthinking a birthday present?

How people voted

Readers say “OP Is Right” (48%) — 46 votes and 5 comments so far.

What people are saying

Keep reading

Vote now on BeSoForeal