Telling a dad he can't be head coach of a U-9 soccer team is a new level of awkward.
By @ines · Family
My town's youth soccer league is pure chaos. We have a 'co-coaching' system where all the interested dads are supposed to rotate, but one dad has decided he is the permanent head coach, manager, and tactical genius for our team of eight-year-olds.
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I volunteered to be a co-coach for my son's U-9 soccer team this fall. I thought it would be a fun, low-stakes way to get involved. The league has a rule: everyone who signs up to coach is a co-coach. There are no head coaches. This is to prevent exactly what is happening on my team. One dad, who I'll call 'Coach Pep,' has completely taken over. He shows up with a laminated clipboard. He runs drills like it's a World Cup training camp. He sends out 1,000-word emails after every game breaking down film he apparently takes from the sideline. He refers to himself as 'the gaffer.' The kids are eight. Most of them are more interested in the dandelions on the field than his complex 4-4-2 formation. The other parent-coaches and I have tried to gently remind him that we're all supposed to share the duties, but he just steamrolls us. 'Great point, I'll take that under advisement for the next match,' he'll say, before immediately screaming at a kid for not 'tracking back.' It came to a head last practice. Another mom tried to run a fun drill with pool noodles, and Coach Pep physically took the whistle out of her hand. they said we were 'undermining the team's tactical discipline right before the playoffs.' There are no playoffs. It's a recreational league where everyone gets a participation trophy. I finally snapped and told him he wasn't the head coach and needed to let other people lead. He looked at me like I had personally insulted his entire family lineage. Now all the other parents are in a group chat debating whether I was too harsh. We just want our kids to run around and have fun, not prep for a Premier League tryout.
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