My team lead invited me to her wedding via a spreadsheet.
By @milokay · Work
The invite wasn't a formal invitation, but a link to a a place nearby Sheet where guests are supposed to claim what gift they're bringing from a pre-filled list. It feels impersonal and transactional.
The full story
I'm on a small, tight-knit team at work, and my team lead is getting married next spring. We all knew it was coming and were expecting to be invited. This morning, she sent a group email with the subject 'Wedding Details!' and the body just said 'Hey team, for those who can make it, please use the sheet below to RSVP and coordinate gifts so we don't get duplicates. Can't wait to celebrate!' The link goes to a a place nearby Sheet. It has columns for guest name, RSVP status (with a dropdown for 'Attending' or 'Not Attending'), meal choice, and then about 50 rows of specific gift items with prices, links to buy them, and a column to put your name next to the one you're claiming. The gifts range from a $25 toaster to a $500 contribution to the 'honeymoon fund.' I feel cornered. It's incredibly efficient, I'll give her that, but it feels so awkward and presumptuous, like we're just checking items off her shopping list. A few coworkers have already put their names down, but I feel weird about it. Is this normal now? It feels rude to not go, and even ruder to not buy a gift from her spreadsheet, but the whole process just feels wrong.
How people voted
- Totally Cooked — 38% (44 votes)
- It’s Complicated — 35% (41 votes)
- You’re Fine — 27% (31 votes)
Readers are split: “Totally Cooked” leads with 38% — 116 votes and 4 comments so far.
What people are saying
@inessorta — I'd claim the honeymoon fund, put my name on it, and then just... not contribute.
@danny — Why not just send a nice card and a separate gift you choose yourself?
@milo — lmaoooo
@jaredkk — Are you sure she considers you a 'tight-knit' team and not just... her employees?
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