My sister now charges me a 'leftovers fee' when she hosts dinner.

By @willaagain · Family

We have a family dinner at my sister's house every Sunday. Recently, she announced that if anyone wants to take leftovers home, they need to contribute $5 to the 'grocery fund'. I think it's ridiculous, but my parents are siding with her.

The full story

My older sister (34F) has been hosting a family dinner at her place almost every Sunday for the past two years. It's usually her, her husband, me (29F), and our parents. She's a great cook and loves to host, and it's been a really nice tradition. I always bring a bottle of wine or a dessert, and my parents help with cleanup. There are always a ton of leftovers. Historically, she's always been happy to pack up food for everyone to take home. She'll literally get out the Tupperware herself and start dividing things up for me and my parents. Last week, however, she sent a message to our family group chat announcing a new 'house rule'. they said that groceries are getting expensive (which I understand) and that hosting every week is a lot. From now on, if any of us want to take a plate of leftovers home, we need to contribute $5 cash to a jar on her counter she's labeled the 'grocery fund'. I was pretty taken aback. I replied privately and asked if she was serious. they said she was dead serious and that it's only fair since she and her husband are footing the bill for a huge meal every single week. they said she's not running a charity takeout service. I told her that framing it as a 'fee' feels really transactional and weird for family. I suggested that maybe we could rotate hosting duties or I could start bringing a main dish to contribute instead of just wine, but she shot that down. they said she likes hosting in her own home and she likes being in charge of the menu, so this is the system she wants. I talked to my parents about it, expecting them to agree with me that it's a strange way to treat family. To my surprise, they completely sided with her. My dad said 'her house, her rules' and that $5 is more than fair for a full meal's worth of leftovers. My mom said it's a practical solution to a real problem. Now I feel like I'm the crazy one. I don't want to pay my own sister a fee for leftovers out of principle, but I also don't want to be the only person leaving empty-handed or create a weird tension every Sunday.

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