My neighbor keeps trying to 'gift' me her kids' old toys and clothes.
By @niaagain · Who's in the Wrong
they says she's just being helpful and saving me money, but it's all just clutter I don't want or need. I feel rude saying no but my garage is already full of stuff we don't use.
The full story
My next-door neighbor is a nice enough person, and our kids are a few years apart in age. On the surface, it seems like a great situation. The problem is, about once a month, she'll come over with a box or a bag of her kids' hand-me-downs. It started with a few outfits, which was fine, but it has escalated to the point where she's bringing over huge bags of worn-out clothes, toys with missing pieces, and just... stuff. So much stuff. I have tried to be polite. I've said things like, 'Oh, that's so generous, but we really don't have the space!' or 'Thank you, but he's already got so many toys he doesn't play with.' She just laughs it off and says something like, 'Oh, don't be silly, you can just store it for later! It's a shame to let it go to waste.' Then she just leaves it on my porch. My husband thinks I should just take it and immediately donate it or throw it away. But that feels wasteful and kind of deceptive? And my garage and closets are genuinely getting filled with things I have to deal with. Part of me feels like I'm being ungrateful, because she thinks she's doing a nice thing and saving us money. But it's creating this constant, low-level chore for me to sort through, store, and eventually get rid of all of it. I'm starting to dread seeing her walk over with a box in her hands. I want to tell her to stop, but I don't know how to do it without making things super awkward between our families, especially since our houses are right next to each other.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 26% (11 votes)
- Both Messy — 37% (16 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 37% (16 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 37% — 43 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@josh — your husband is right. just take it straight to the donation bin. she's not 'gifting' you things, she's using you as a free trash removal service.
@derekkk — Honestly, this sounds like a blessing. Free stuff is free stuff. I'd take it and just sort through it for the good bits. Saves so much money.
@judekinda — This is so hard. People think they're being generous but they're actually giving you a chore. It's not a gift if it comes with an obligation. Totally on your side.
@marahm — The polite way has failed. Next time she comes over with a box, just look her in the eye and say 'No thank you, we don't have space for that.' And just stand there. Don't say another word.
@maekinda — I would start 'gifting' it back to her a few months later. 'Oh look what I found! Your little one would love this!'
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