My husband's best friend comes over for dinner multiple times a week and never contributes a thing.

By @jetttbh · Family

I feel like I'm running a free restaurant out of my house. My husband says I'm making a big deal out of nothing because he's an old friend, but I'm the one planning meals and our grocery bill is definitely higher.

The full story

My husband and his best friend have known each other since kindergarten. He's a great guy, truly, like an uncle to our two kids (8 and 10). About a year ago he moved closer to us, and at first, it was nice when he'd drop by for dinner once a week to catch up. Somehow, 'once a week' has morphed into a standing, unspoken reservation for at least three nights a week. He just... appears. Usually right as I'm trying to get dinner on the table. And he never, ever brings anything. Not a bottle of wine, not a bag of salad, not a dessert. He doesn't even offer to help clear the table. He just eats the meal I cooked and then hangs out with my husband on the couch while I do the dishes. I finally told my husband that this is starting to bother me. It's not just the money, although groceries for four are expensive enough without adding a whole other adult into the mix 40% of the time. It's the mental load. I do all the meal planning and shopping for our family. Now I have to constantly factor him in. If I was planning a simple 'fend for yourself' night with leftovers or breakfast-for-dinner, I feel this pressure to make a 'real' meal because he might show up. I suggested to my husband that maybe he could *gently* ask his friend to pitch in once in a while. Like, 'hey man, could you grab a pizza on your way over tonight?' My husband acted like I'd suggested charging him admission. they said, 'He's family, we don't keep score' and that I was trying to make things 'transactional' and awkward. Now I feel like the bad guy, but I'm also getting more resentful every time his car pulls up. I'm tired of being the default caterer for their friendship.

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