My dad has turned our house into a World Cup military state.
By @gabeish · Family
i came home from college for the summer and my dad has been completely possessed by the spirit of the world cup. he's bought a tv that's bigger than my dorm room and has a laminated list of 'game time rules' that includes no talking and no using the good wifi.
The full story
so im home for the summer and was honestly looking forward to a break. wrong. my dad, who normally just watches the nfl and complains about commercials, has decided he is now the world's biggest soccer fan because of the world cup. it started small. he was just watching the games. then an 85-inch tv appeared. he calls it the 'command center' and it takes up the entire living room wall. then the rules started. he printed and LAMINATED a schedule and taped it to the fridge with 'house rules for a successful tournament.' no vacuuming within an hour of kickoff. no using the blender during game time. no non-essential wifi usage (aka my laptop) because it could 'destabilize the stream.' my sister got a 10-minute lecture for taking a facetime call in the kitchen because her voice was 'disrupting the tactical atmosphere.' he bought three different jerseys for teams he'd never heard of a month ago and wears them on game days. i have to give him credit for the commitment i guess. he has a group chat with his work friends that is non-stop commentary and he reads the messages aloud to us like we're his assistants. my mom has taken up gardening with a new and intense passion, mostly because it gets her out of the house. i tried to watch my own show in the living room yesterday and was told i was 'disrespecting the beautiful game.' i love my dad but this is actually insane. there's still weeks of this. is it weird to miss my tiny dorm room? because ngl it sounds really peaceful right now.
How people voted
- Bad Move — 12% (3 votes)
- Needs Context — 44% (11 votes)
- Reasonable — 44% (11 votes)
Readers are split: “Needs Context” leads with 44% — 25 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@laurensorta — He's not obsessed with soccer, he's using it as a way to escape something else in his life.
@nicomaybe — Can't he just upgrade the wifi package so it doesn't 'destabilize the stream'?
@gabeyk — My deepest sympathies for the destabilized stream.
@wes — laminated rules is king behavior tbh
@tannerk — this is what commitment looks like.
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