I thought getting a life-sized cutout of my roommate's celebrity crush was a good idea.

By @jaredkay · Friends

Now he moves it around our apartment to scare me and I'm genuinely losing my mind. This morning it was sitting on the toilet.

The full story

okay so for my roommate's (21m) birthday last month i thought it would be hilarious to get him a life-sized cardboard cutout of nicolas cage. it's a long-running inside joke in our friend group. he loved it, everyone died laughing, it was a great bit. for a week. then he started moving it. at first it was funny, like he put it in the living room window to wave at people. but then it got sinister. i walked into the kitchen for a midnight snack and nic cage was just standing there, in the dark, holding a knife from our knife block. i almost had a heart attack. since then it's been a campaign of psychological warfare. i opened the shower curtain and he was in there. i woke up and he was standing at the foot of my bed. this morning he was positioned on the toilet, with a magazine in his lap. my roommate thinks this is the funniest thing in the universe. he says it's my fault for bringing this curse into our home. ngl i'm lowkey terrified in my own apartment now. i jump at every shadow. i've tried hiding the cutout but he always finds it and puts it somewhere worse. my friends all think i need to chill out and that its just a joke, but it feels like it's gone way past that. am i just being dramatic or is this weirdly targeted harassment via cardboard actor? i feel like i'm losing a war i started.

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