I think I accidentally started a cult to mock my best friend's wedding.
By @benhm · Friends
He's getting married and the planning has been… intense. I started a dumb inside joke to lighten the mood with the groomsmen and now it’s spun out of control and his fiancée is furious.
The full story
My best friend is getting married in a few months and I'm the best man. To say his fiancée is meticulous would be the understatement of the century. She has a binder. She has spreadsheets with pivot tables. She refers to the wedding colors not as 'burgundy and gold' but by their specific Pantone numbers. It's a lot, and my buddy has been mega-stressed. To blow off steam, I started a private joke between me and him. I sarcastically started calling her "The Blessed Curationist" because she "curates" every single detail. Whenever a new edict would come down via text (e.g., "The Curationist has decreed that all groomsmen's pocket squares must have a diagonal fold, not square"), I'd bow my head and say "Her will be done." It made him laugh, which was the whole point. The problem is, the other groomsmen overheard it and thought it was the funniest thing in the world. They got in on it. We made a group chat called "The Order of the Groom" which was basically just us sharing the latest insane wedding-planning update and adding our own sarcastic lore. The wedding planner became the "High Priestess." The ring bearer was dubbed "The Keeper of the Sacred Circles." It was dumb fun, and honestly, a pretty good way to bond. Here’s the disaster: the groom’s 19-year-old cousin is also a groomsman. He's a sweet kid but has zero sense of sarcasm. He thought our fake cult was 100% real. Last night, he created a public Instagram page called "The Order of the Groom" and posted our "commandments" (all our sarcastic inside jokes) as if they were gospel. He posted our memes about "The Blessed Curationist" and tagged the fiancée, her mother, her bridesmaids, the photographer... everyone. She saw it. She is, to put it mildly, not pleased. She thinks we've been running a secret misogynistic society to mock her for months. My best friend is caught between his future wife and his idiot friends, and is currently sleeping on my couch. The wedding is still on, but I'm pretty sure I'm about to be demoted from best man to 'person not allowed within 500 feet of the venue.' I know it was stupid, but it was supposed to be a private joke. I never imagined someone would be dense enough to make it public. Am I a terrible friend?
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 36% (9 votes)
- Both Messy — 16% (4 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 48% (12 votes)
Readers say “OP Is Wrong” (48%) — 25 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@hardpass — The only appropriate response is for all groomsmen to get 'Her Will Be Done' tattooed before the ceremony.
@coleactually — A man's job is to nod and show up, not start secret clubs about pantone colors.
@vinceok — Her reaction is a huge red flag about her own insecurity, not your friendship.
@avaok2 — My brother's best man made a joke powerpoint for the rehearsal dinner roasting both of them and my brother's wife didn't speak to him for the first 6 months of their marriage. Some people just can't take a joke lol.
@xenakay — Cooked.
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