I remember when making plans didn't require a group chat committee meeting.
By @lanelol · Social
Getting together with friends feels like it's become a full-time job of catering to everyone's whims. We used to just pick a time and place and show up.
The full story
I was trying to get a few old friends together for a simple barbecue next weekend, and the whole experience has left me feeling exhausted and a little sad. Back in the day, you'd call someone up—on their landline, mind you—and say, 'Hey, cookout at my place, Saturday at 3.' And that was it. You just trusted people would be there, and they usually were. If they weren't, you just assumed something came up and you'd catch them next time. Now? It's a whole production. I started a group chat, which was my first mistake. The first twenty messages were just people reacting with emojis. Then came the questions. 'What's the address again?' (It was in the first message). 'Can I bring my cousin who's in town?' 'I might be a little late, is that okay?' 'I'm vegan, will there be options?' 'Ooh, Saturday... I might have that thing, let me check.' We spent two days just trying to nail down a time that worked for six people. Someone suggested a poll. Someone else replied-all to say they couldn't see the poll. An hour later, my phone is buzzing because two of them are having a side conversation in the main chat about a TV show. It's this constant, low-grade hum of digital noise for what should be the simplest thing in the world. I feel like a project manager for a basic social gathering. I miss the simplicity of just making a plan and trusting your friends to show up. This endless negotiation just drains the fun out of it before it even begins.
How people voted
- Facts — 34% (90 votes)
- Depends — 37% (97 votes)
- No Way — 29% (75 votes)
Readers are split: “Depends” leads with 37% — 262 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@maraish — This isn't friendship; it's just outsourced decision fatigue for everyone involved.
@wes — bruh
@yaratbh — disagree just tell them the time and place if they dont show up oh well
@idkman — This is how trying to plan my fantasy baseball draft felt. Someone literally asked if we could move the date because their keeper got injured.
@nopenope — Absolutely agree! It shouldn't be this hard to just see your friends. Good on you for even trying to make it happen.