I made my friend's destination wedding incredibly awkward over a plus-one fee.
By @zanehm · Friends
My friend is charging guests $200 for their plus-ones to her wedding in Mexico. I said if I'm paying for my girlfriend's plate, I get to approve the menu first, and it did not go over well.
The full story
My best friend from college is getting married in Cancun this winter. Super excited for her, she's been planning this for over a year. The invitations went out a few weeks ago and when I RSVP'd, I got an email back from her with a link to her wedding website. The email said something like 'So excited to have you and a guest! Please use this link to contribute to our plus-one fund.' I clicked it, and it's a payment portal asking for $200. I was a little taken aback. I get that destination weddings are expensive, but asking your guests to directly pay for their dates seems tacky. It's not a cover charge for a club, it's a wedding. My girlfriend and I have been together for three years, we live together, it's not like she's some random person I'm bringing for fun. I'm already shelling out probably close to $2,000 for flights, the hotel (which is an expensive all-inclusive she picked), and time off work. Asking for another $200 on top of that just felt like a cash grab. So, this is where I might be the villain. I was annoyed and sent a text to my friend that was probably too sarcastic. I said, 'Hey, just saw the plus-one fee. No problem, but if I'm paying for my date's meal, can I get a copy of the menu? For $200, I just want to make sure the chicken is worth it.' She absolutely lost it. She called me immediately, furious, saying I was being disrespectful and belittling her wedding. they said the fee is to cover the all-inclusive cost for the extra person for the wedding night events and that I know how much financial pressure they're under. I tried to explain that it's not about the money itself, but the principle of charging guests, especially for a serious partner. It turned into a huge argument and now we're not speaking. My girlfriend is mortified and says I should just pay it and apologize profusely. A few of our mutual friends are on my side in principle but said the way I handled it was a massive overreaction and I made a super uncomfortable situation for everyone. I don't know, it just feels so wrong to me.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 27% (23 votes)
- Both Messy — 35% (30 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 38% (33 votes)
Readers are split: “OP Is Wrong” leads with 38% — 86 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@kirafr — charging your friends to come to your party is an interesting choice.
@brynnhm — My sister in law tried to do this for her wedding in florida and my brother shut it down so fast lol
@owenyk — If you can't afford the wedding you want, you have a smaller wedding.
@remylol — Your joke was maybe a little much, but I totally get why you were annoyed! The 'plus-one fund' is just... yikes.
@lanelol — The sarcasm was just a defense mechanism because you felt put on the spot financially.
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