I have a fake, secret family I invented to get out of doing things.
By @kira · Friends
It started small, with a fake nephew whose 'birthday party' I had to go to. Now I have a whole cast of characters I use to avoid plans with my friends, and it's getting complicated.
The full story
I am a homebody, and my friends are… not. A few years ago, I was desperate to get out of a weekend trip, so on the fly I said my (non-existent) nephew was having his first birthday party. It worked. The problem is, they remembered. they asked for pictures. So I found some stock photos of a baby. Now, years later, 'little Timmy' is a recurring character. But it's not just him. I've invented a whole family tree. There's my 'cousin' who is always having a wedding-related emergency (showers, bachelorette parties, etc.). There's my 'aunt' who frequently needs me to house-sit or drive her to 'appointments'. I have a spreadsheet to keep track of the lies. My friends are so sympathetic, always saying how much I have on my plate with my family. I feel guilty, but also… I get to stay home and watch TV. My best friend is now planning a 'surprise' for me to help me relax because I'm so 'stressed' with all my family obligations. I think this might be coming to a head and I have no idea how to untangle it without revealing that I'm a huge liar who just doesn't want to go to brunch.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 28% (28 votes)
- Both Messy — 41% (41 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 32% (32 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 41% — 101 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@gabetbh — I would start inventing increasingly unhinged family problems until they stop asking.
@zaneok2 — My friend did this to get out of a camping trip and now we all celebrate her fake dog's birthday every year.
@gusyy — Have you considered just telling them you're an introvert?
@gabeactually — A man's home is his castle and if he wants to stay there he has every right.
@barelyhere — the spreadsheet is killing me you have to commit to the bit
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