I have to send an email to a group of friends explaining why 'RSVP' is a real deadline.
By @inesyy · Friends
I planned a small weekend trip for my birthday and had to book an Airbnb. Now three people have decided they want to come, two weeks after the deadline and after I already paid.
The full story
I am not a big party person, so for my birthday this year (I'm turning 28), I wanted to do something quiet. I found a nice airbnb a few hours away and told a group of about 10 close friends about it back in August. I sent out a feeler text to see who was interested and got about 7 'yes' RSVPs by the date I asked for, which was September 15th. The booking was for this coming weekend. So I went ahead and booked a place that comfortably fits 7 people, and I paid the deposit. I sent a confirmation to the 'yes' group with the details and the cost per person. Everyone paid me their share right away. It was all very smooth and organized. Yesterday, I got a text from a friend who had initially said she couldn't make it, asking for the address. I was confused and asked why, and she said 'oh I can come now! so excited!'. Then another friend, who never even replied to the original message, texted the group chat saying 'hey me and my bf can probably make it too, what's the address?'. Now I'm in this incredibly awkward position. The house is booked for a specific number of people. I already paid based on that number. Adding three more people isn't just a space issue, it changes the cost for everyone and I'd have to contact the host who might not even allow it. I feel like I'm being forced to be the bad guy and tell them no, but I also feel like it's rude of them to assume they can just jump in weeks after the fact. I want to send a group message to explain the situation without starting drama, but I'm so anxious about it.
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 28% (35 votes)
- Both Messy — 38% (47 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 34% (42 votes)
Readers are split: “Both Messy” leads with 38% — 124 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@sashakay — soft.
@ivyyy — this is literally my nightmare, i planned a whole dinner party once and someone asked if they could bring their tuba.
@karawelp — A man's word is his bond, and that includes RSVPs.
@noelsorta — wow i'm sure they'll all read that email.
@niaagain — I feel like a quick text would solve this faster than a formal email to everyone.
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