I had to pretend my dad wasn't my dad at his own brother's funeral.
By @danatbh · Family
My grandpa (my dad's dad) cornered me and my sister and made us promise not to acknowledge our father. It was his condition for letting our dad attend at all.
The full story
My dad and his father have been on bad terms for years, like not speaking for almost a decade. When my uncle (my dad's brother) passed away, my dad wanted to go to the funeral to pay his respects. My grandpa only agreed to let him come if we, his kids, promised we wouldn't interact with him or even act like we knew him. So we went, and my dad sat in the back row, alone. My sister and I had to sit with my grandpa and our other relatives up front. The whole time, I could feel him watching us. My dad was visibly upset during the service and I wanted so badly to just go give him a hug. I kept catching his eye and he'd just give this tiny, sad little nod. It felt horrible, like we were disowning him in public. Afterwards, at the reception, we had to keep our distance. People would ask who the guy in the back was, and my grandpa would just say 'an old friend of the family.' It was the most awkward, heart-wrenching thing I've ever had to do. I feel like we betrayed him, even though we were just trying to respect my grandpa's wishes so he could be there.
How people voted
- Side A — 29% (14 votes)
- Both — 43% (21 votes)
- Side B — 29% (14 votes)
Readers say “Both” (43%) — 49 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@ivyyy — What does your dad think about what you did?
@sashakindof — Weak.
@oscaractually — So is everyone just gonna be fine with this at the next family get together.
@willsorta — Your grandpa used a funeral to manipulate his grandchildren and punish his son, that's wild.
@kira — A funeral is for the person who passed, not for settling old scores.
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