I accidentally became the gossip of my entire extended family's group chat.
By @coleok2 · Family
At my cousin's wedding last weekend, I was cornered by an aunt who kept asking why I'm still single. To get her to leave me alone, I made up a fake, elaborate story about a recent 'bad breakup,' and now I think her daughter live-texted the entire thing to everyone.
The full story
I honestly didn't think it would become a thing. It was one of those moments at a wedding where you're just trying to get to the bar, and my aunt, who means well but has zero filter, physically blocked my path to ask about my 'love life.' I'm 32, I'm fine, but she treats my being single like it's a terminal diagnosis. So I just panicked. Instead of my usual 'oh, you know, just haven't met the right person!' I launched into this insane, detailed story about a man I pretended I'd been seeing for a year. I gave him a name, a boring job, and a whole backstory about how he broke my heart by moving to another country to 'find himself' after his pet iguana died. I was laying it on SO thick, I thought it was obvious I was being sarcastic. I'm talking near-tears, hand on my heart, the works. I thought she'd laugh and move on. She did not. She ate it up. Her eyes were wide, she was patting my arm, the whole nine yards. The worst part is, I saw her daughter (my cousin, 26) typing furiously on her phone over her mom's shoulder the entire time, trying not to laugh. I thought we had a silent understanding. We did not. Cut to yesterday, my mom calls me asking if I'm 'holding up okay' after my 'devastating split.' Apparently, the story, now embellished with even more insane details, is the top story in the 40+ person family group chat. Aunts I haven't spoken to in years are sending me sad-face emojis. My uncle offered to send me money for 'takeout and ice cream.' I tried to tell my mom it was a joke, but she said 'well that was a cruel joke to play, everyone's worried sick!' Now I feel like a total jerk, but also, I just wanted to be left alone for five minutes. Do I have to come clean to the entire family and admit I'm a liar, or do I just ride this out and 'get over' my fake ex-boyfriend in a few months?
How people voted
- OP Is Right — 20% (6 votes)
- Both Messy — 57% (17 votes)
- OP Is Wrong — 23% (7 votes)
Readers say “Both Messy” (57%) — 30 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@vinceforsure — let it ride out this is incredible content
@owensorta — I have a feeling this wasn't the first time you've told a dramatic story to get attention.
@josh — I'd 'get over' the breakup by announcing I'm seeing someone new and make the new guy even more unhinged. Your family, your soap opera.
@ediekindof — Why not just tell the cousin who tattled to clear it up since she knew it was a joke?
@yaraok — Oh honey, you were just trying to get out of an awkward spot. Your family should understand that.