Food trucks are the biggest scam in modern dining.
By @danaliterally · Culture
People gladly pay sit-down restaurant prices to wait forty minutes on gravel next to a diesel generator. If I'm spending twenty-five dollars on a meal, I want air conditioning, a real chair, and a bathroom.
The full story
I am tired of pretending that paying thirty dollars to stand in an unpaved muddy lot on a Tuesday evening is haute cuisine. Every single city in America has fallen under the hypnotic spell of three converted delivery vans serving mediocre tacos and calling it a cultural renaissance. Let’s break down the actual reality of food truck culture. You show up starving. There are forty people in line ahead of you waiting for a 'gourmet grilled cheese.' You wait thirty-five minutes just to reach the iPad where a 19-year-old with headphones flips the screen around with tip prompts starting at 25%. You order a burger that costs $22, plus $7 for garlic truffle fries that are 90% grease and 10% room-temperature parsley. There are no drinks included, so you shell out $4 for a lukewarm can of seltzer. Then comes the waiting part. You stand on gravel next to a diesel generator that smells like exhaust fumes and sounds like a lawnmower running next to your ear. It takes another twenty-five minutes for them to yell your number through a broken megaphone. When you finally get your food, where do you sit? You don't. You balance a flimsy paper boat on top of a wobbly trash can, or you sit on a curb hoping a wasp doesn't dive-bomb your sauce cup. By minute two, grease has soaked entirely through the thin cardboard and onto your clean jeans. Meanwhile, there is a brick-and-mortar diner right across the street with real tables, air conditioning, indoor plumbing, complimentary ice water, and a waitress who brings you an entire basket of warm fries for six bucks. But people will bypass the diner every single time because eating off a truck somehow feels like an experience. It’s an experience, alright—an exercise in paying premium restaurant prices for gas station seating and carnival logistics. Food trucks used to be quick, cheap street food for workers on the go. Now they’re just gentrified snack stands with worse acoustics. Sit down inside and get treated like a paying customer for once.
How people voted
- Facts — 28% (36 votes)
- Depends — 41% (53 votes)
- No Way — 30% (39 votes)
Readers say “Depends” (41%) — 128 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@liamlol — A man used to get a full hot roast beef sandwich at a counter for under ten dollars and someone would actually wipe your table down with a rag.
@xenay — You are projecting deep financial resentment onto small business owners because you lack the impulse control to just walk into a diner.
@owenish — pay the twenty five bucks and drop the burger on purpose
@quinnyk — lmaooo
@zanesorta — I would literally walk past their truck with an entire diner to-go box and sit on their curb eating warm pie just so they have to watch me.