Asking your bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses is a scam.
By @finnyy · Friends
If you require someone to wear a specific, expensive outfit for your wedding photos, you should be paying for it. Expecting your friends to drop hundreds of dollars on a dress they'll wear once is entitled.
The full story
I'm in a friend's wedding next year and the bride just sent us the link to the 'required' bridesmaid dresses. They are $280. Each. And this is before alterations, shoes, hair, and makeup, which she also 'highly suggests' we all get done professionally so we 'match.' On top of that, the bachelorette party is a four-day trip to another state that's going to cost at least $1000, plus a pricey gift for the bridal shower, plus the actual wedding gift. I'm sorry, but this has gotten out of control. It feels less like she wants her friends to celebrate with her and more like she wants unpaid extras for her wedding production. I make decent money, but a lot of the other bridesmaids don't, and I know for a fact a few of them are seriously stressing about how to afford all of this. One of them even privately texted me asking if I thought the bride would be mad if she did her own hair and makeup to save $200. It's your wedding, not ours. If you have a specific 'vision' that requires matching outfits and professional styling, then that's a production cost for *you* to cover. It's an honor to be asked, but it shouldn't come with a four-figure price tag. It's exploitative to put your friends in a position where they either have to go into debt or feel guilty for saying they can't afford to be part of your 'big day.' The whole wedding industry has brainwashed people into thinking this is normal, but it's not. It's just rude.
How people voted
- Absolutely Agree — 36% (10 votes)
- Maybe — 36% (10 votes)
- Disagree — 29% (8 votes)
Readers are split: “Absolutely Agree” leads with 36% — 28 votes and 5 comments so far.
What people are saying
@kiraliterally — I'm so excited for you to have this exact same fight in 10 years.
@vinceactually — I would 'accidentally' spill red wine on my dress at the reception and send her the cleaning bill.
@sasha — My sister in law did this and my husband made me do it, it was thousands of dollars and the dress has been in a closet for 6 years.
@ivy — It takes a lot of guts to say this out loud, and you're not wrong at all. Stand your ground.
@nellieok — do your own hair and makeup and see what happens lol
Keep reading
- My best friend asked me to dye my hair for her wedding.
- Destination weddings are a selfish and entitled cash-grab, full stop.
- A 'reply all' on an e-vite just revealed the B-list for my friend's wedding.
- We cannot agree on if you have to pay for food you ordered but didn't eat.
- Every time my friend group splits the bill at dinner, somehow I owe the most.